This a crabby, bitchy follow-up to How to Succeed in Blogging without Really Trying, and inspired in part by my own ire (I’ve been surfing a lot lately looking for blog topics for work) and this tweet from Barrett.
- Truncate your RSS Feed. Advertise in your RSS Feed while truncating it. Post only headlines in your RSS Feed
- Snap To previews. Are they paying you for that shit?
- Make the top half of your website, the part that fills the entire screen of a small laptop one giant image that doesn’t do anything, and make visitors spend a minute or so figuring out to scroll down for content.
- Tweet 7 – 15 times in a row, so that no matter what sort of Twitter client someone uses your annoying Mad Men avatar is all they see. Really, if you have that much to say at once, get a fucking blog.
- Post a Facebook status that you’ve seen as
105somebody else’s status. - Live Tweet anything.
- Post whiny, pointless lists that make you seem smug and superior.
- Use the word woot.
- A Flash site, really? What is this 2002? Knock it off already (and, oddly enough advertising agencies are the worst offenders of this nonsense).
- Endlessly tweet your four-square check-ins. I like you, but I don’t care where you are every second of the day.
- Resize my browser when I got your site.
Feel free to add your own.
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I love it.
Thank you. I’m waiting to get kicked off the Internet for being a crabby ol’ bitch.
Uh-oh…
I’ve been known to live tweet hockey games, tweet a few times in a several minute span, and I use the word “w00t” (yes, with the annoying zeros).
Does this mean you don’t love me anymore? *grin*
Holy Crap! Barrett just referenced No. 9 almost verbatim about 10 minutes ago while looking at a Web site of a local ad agency.
I would add having sponsored Tweets in your Twitter feed (I just unfollowed two people this morning for that).
Even in 2009, you still encounter ads that obscure the text you’re trying to read. That has to be one of the worst offenses I can think of. Also: videos that start playing automatically, obscure and “arty” navigation that’s difficult to figure out, horizontal scrolling, and top 100 lists that require hitting “next page” 17 times to get to #1.
I also hate the new trend of having information in video form only with no viable text option. Listen: there is no real way to “scan” video for useful information. You either watch it or you don’t. 99% of the time, I just won’t.
I can’t believe I didn’t think of informational video content. I hate it too. I’m not an online video watcher really. Something has to be praised and linked to about 66 times before I’d deign to watch it.