i’ve got a bad case of the mean reds tonight. i am hoping this will lift with a good night’s sleep, but i am not so sure that will cure me. i am grouchy and so lonely i could die. it makes no sense why i want someone around when i am so damn crabby, but i do. i just long for someone to ask me what’s the matter. i would have paid money to have someone say, “oh jodi, i am so glad you are home.” coming home to a dark, empty apartment can be damn depressing. . . especially when you have the mean reds. if i weren’t exerting all sorts of self-control, i could sit here on the couch for an hour and cry. but weeping and feeling bad for myself isn’t going to do me any good. my game plan? lay in bed wrapped in flannel and listen to jeff buckley in the dark. sounds good, doesn’t it?