Hello Darling Ones,

I don’t know how your day started, but mine started with an awkward phone call with the Brain Injury Alliance.

“Why was it awkward?” Sister #2 asked.

Uh, because I was a part of it. That’s why it was awkward. I’m a feral beast with a damaged brain. I should not be foisted upon the general public. I thought that was obvious. Not to her, apparently.

I called the Brain Injury Alliance because I’m toying around with the idea of maybe, perhaps witnessing a Stroke Support Group to see if it’s something I might benefit from. That is, I might, maybe, perhaps join if I can get over my whole “I don’t want to be a part of any club.”

I’m a loner, Darling Ones. A rebel.

As I’ve made clear, I’m struggling a bit in the mood department. BFK ending our 22-year-friendship without even a discussion is a tough pill to swallow. I don’t know what upsets me more, the loss of a relationship that is very important to me or the realization that I’m easily dismissed and so maybe I was the only one who found the relationship important. It fucking hurts, man. And, also I’m recovering from a stroke and trying to come to terms with my disabilities and then there’s the absolute lack of income.

No worries, I’m having a med check with my doctor tomorrow to discuss upping the Lexapro since I can feel the anxiety creeping in again.

In other disappointments or perhaps victories, depending how this works, I had to bust out my Top Chef ingenuity for dinner tonight.

Now that I’m broke I’m doing my best to eat down all my hoarded food. The smug part of me (which is about 89% of me) is all See? SEE! I knew I’d be poor again one day and this food would come in handy. Who knew trauma from childhood poverty would be so useful?

My plan tonight was to eat the other half of the Tator Tot Hotdish I made last month. I froze half the meat/veggie mixture sans cream of soup and froze it. All I’d need to do is mix in the soup and top the sludge with tots and cheese.

Easy peasy.

For the record my Tator Tot Hotdish is made with ground beef, charred corn, jalapeños, onions, green chiles, and cream of jalapeño soup. I’m spicy.

Turns out that of all the food I hoard, cream of soup is not one of them. There was zero soup in my cupboards. No Cream of Jalapeño. No Cream of Celery. No Cream of Broccoli. Not even a lowly can of Cream of Mushroom.

Heaven help me, Campbells!

After feeling a bit like a failure as not just a homemaker, but a Minnesotan, I thought What would Padma do?

She’d pivot.

So I added kidneys beans, chili powder, more green chiles, and tomato sauce to my meat & veggies then I topped that shizz with tots and cheese.

Keep your fingers crossed for me. It should be out of the over in about 10 minutes.

Your favorite hot dish,
Jodi

P.S. I know Padma isn’t on Top Chef anymore and I adore Kristen Kish as the host, but the joke works better with Padma’s name.

P.P.S. The hotdish pictured above is what the first batch I made that produced tonight’s leftovers.