Hola Darling Ones,

Since I learned I was diabetic I have become one of those people who care about carbs and protein. I hate that for me. People who talk about their diet are insufferable. I do not care. Eat what you want.

I’m also not a fan of people who talk about “earning” food or being “naughty” when eating certain foods.

Diet Culture makes my skin crawl and at 52 I’m still trying to get myself out of that toxic quagmire. And now I’m both fat and diabetic. The horror.

There is a large portion of society that believes I deserve diabetes or that I brought it on myself. I do not like those people and wish that when they try to open something where it says “open here” that it never opens there again, ever.

Because I want to continue living and I enjoy when my doctor praises me for having a good A1C I’m conscious of my carb intake and try to cram protein in my body whenever I can.

However, I do love food — making it, watching other people make it, reading about it, eating it, talking about it. All of it. Food is good. And fun.

Now that I’m diabetic I try to be more thoughtful about the food I consume. I didn’t too bad a job pre-diabetes. That’s why I don’t an air fryer because I know I would live on mini corndogs until my heat exploded or my pancreas fell out.

Since I have more time on my hands and little money Supergenius HQ has become more of an ingredient household than it was before.

This is why I’m in the process of making homemade hoagie rolls.

You gotta really want a meatball sub to go through the hassle of making hoagie rolls. Darling Ones, I really want a meatball sub.

Last week I really wanted chocolate cake so I made a chocolate pound cake. My mom & Sister #4 really love this new era of my life because I give at least half of everything sweet I make to them.

They aren’t getting any of these hoagie rolls though. These things are making me nervous. I’m scared any time I use yeast. It makes me feel like a sorceress calling on the dark arts. RISE my dough, RISE!

Baking with yeast requires both magic and faith and I’m not good at either of those things. Not a fan of “trusting the process.” What if the process is bullshit and you trusted it and now you have a lump or crap?

Thank you for reading 447 words of yeast-anxiety. This is what I did while waiting through the first proof.

Your spicy meatball,
Jodi