The COVID Diaries: Smelling the Dream

Hi Darling Ones,

Because I spend most of my time alone, especially this year, I decided that I needed to smell better. You know, as like a treat for myself.

Much like the lipsticks, I get weirdly obsessed a few times a year with perfume or cologne. Until like a month ago, I rarely wore perfume. It was so rare that one time I used it I thought I was haunted.

I don’t know why I didn’t wear it. I love the idea of it. I like good-smelling things. I even own one bottle of fancy perfume that I never used. Mostly I walked around smelling faintly of Johnson’s Night Time baby lotion like it was a signature scent.

Also, I should mention that I don’t wear deodorant. I haven’t for like ten or so years? This shocks people, specifically the ones I know. My friend Adam was astounded when he learned this fun fact. “Huh,” he said. “You think you’d be stinkier.” I explained when I get stinky I take a shower and that usually does the trick for a few days. My family and friends have decided that because I don’t use deodorant I don’t need deodorant. I don’t know about the science behind that. I do know about the science of behind every deodorant on this great green earth making my armpits itchy. I take stinky over itchy.

So sometime this summer I decided that I was tired of smelling like a cranky baby that was ready for bed. As I told my friend EM, a perfume expert, I was sick of smelling like a meadow and instead wanted to smell like a forest. My dream, as I may have mentioned before, is to smell like an old man in a forest sitting next to a lilac bush.

To that end I bought an expensive bottle of perfume called Lilac Path and it is divine. It makes me almost as happy as my new underpants. However, I was still missing the old man in the forest portion of my dream. That, is until yesterday when my teeny, tiny samples of men’s woody-cologne arrived.

Today I doused myself in something called Dark Amber & Ginger Lily AND the Lilac Path. While it’s not quite the dream yet, I’m getting closer. I need the dude cologne to be a little stronger because right now I smell like a lilac bush an old man walked past.

Goals!
Jodi

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