How Do You Describe the Impossible

When April started I had big plans to blog every day like the glory days of the 200 project. I did really well for three days. Then something happened. Something else probably happened, and then my Aunt Janis died.

Her death was sudden and shocking. She was only 60 years old. It’s been two weeks and I’m still not sure if I have the words to express the depth of my sorrow and what she meant to me, to my family.

My Aunt Janis was pretty damn cool, like legit cool. She was a Turnip-hating, equality-loving, Joan-Jett-Hall-of-Fame-Induction-celebrating kind of woman. She was also an actual boss, like a VP at work. I don’t know if she called herself a feminist, but she sure seemed like one.

When I first learned she was going to die (two days before it happened), I kept thinking about how she’d gathered my sisters and I before Grammu’s funeral, and encouraged us to play a special role at the funeral like the grandsons.

Even though she and my Uncle Danny got divorced years ago, she always came to A Very St.Martin Christmas with a green bean hotdish in hand. This year she also came with Adam Lambert ornaments that she hid around my house for me to find after she left. Janis looovvveeed Adam Lambert, like meet up with her friends from the Internet and travel to go to his concerts love.

Sound like anyone else you know?

And while she loved Adam Lambert, her all-time favorite band was Queen. At Christmas this year she said about Queen, and I quote, “They were the clay my universe was built upon.”

My Aunt Janis was hilarious, loved crude humor, and was probably one of the best storytellers I’ve ever known. That’s not hyperbole. She held my entire family rapt talking about a harrowing, snowy drive to South Dakota that happened like thirty years ago.

I still can’t believe she’s dead. It just feels like a thing that’s not possible, which is why I can’t seem to find the words. How do you describe the impossible?

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1 Comment

  1. Susanna Donato 02.May.19 at 8:15 am

    I’m so sorry. 🙁 She sounds awesome.

    Reply

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