First of all, it has come to my attention that 1989 was 30 years ago. How can simple math and the passage of time hurt my feelings so much? Is it because I’m still sick and in a weakened state?
Here’s the thing about my day: it sucked. It sucked in boring ways that a grey, Monday in January will suck. Work was annoying, things went wrong, and people didn’t listen to me, which I can kind of understand because I sound like Peter Brady singing “Time to Change” after making out with a carton of Newports and a gallon of Jim Beam for a week.
However, today my new toys arrived and I gotta say even though I know capitalism is all about conning us into buying shitty things to shove into the holes in our souls caused by being cogs in the corporate machine, sometimes it totally works.
I had a Jem & Pizazz shaped hole in my soul and for the low, low price of $15.99 + shipping my hole has been perfectly filled.
Plus, it came with some of that big bubble wrap and I squeezed every one of those air-filled blisters until it popped. I was simultaneously annoyed and amused.