My plan was to write a cute post about the mugs I make every year for Rock & Roll Bookclub’s Dirty Santa party. Then I was gonna talk about how I spend a lot of time making gifts because I’m a nerd. This year I’m screenprinting tea towels.
PBut I’m too crabby to write that post. I’m convinced that someone I was an asshole too cursed me. The curse was to fill my day with annoyances of varying degrees and no emotional capacity to deal with any of them.
Well played person I was an asshole to, your curse worked like a charm. Now I’m sitting in the dark typing one-thumbed in my phone with a face full of so much cranky I can feel the furrows in my forehead and my lips refuse to unpurse.
In seventy-one words I’m gonna go upstairs and put my clothes in the dryer, the I’m gonna immerse myself in a warm bath and pretend like today did not happen. After that I will slather on my lotion of choice — Johnson’s nighttime cranky baby formula, and then I will finish reading Tina Turner’s memoir, which I am enjoying immensely, and call it a fucking day.