I didn’t sleep very well last night.
It was the first time in twenty-one years that I had gone to sleep in my house completely, totally, utterly alone. No cat. No dog. No roommate. No sister as guest. Nobody.
My brother-in-law, Ben, took Walter home yesterday around four. I was both happy and sad to see him go. I love Walter. He is my favorite dog of all the dogs. He is funny and kind of emo and he loves me more than any other creature on the planet loves me. He is my buddy and having him here to listen to me chatter away was nice.
But dogs are a lot of work and sometimes they take forever to find the proper blade of grass to poop on while it you get soaked through with rain and even if you threaten to tie them to a tree in your head they still don’t hurry up. AND when you get back inside they’re all pissed off at you because their soaking wet as if it was you who took forever to poop in the pouring rain.
Losing Paco and having to give back Walter within the span of a few weeks, was some shitty timing and bad luck.
On top of all that, I had a sort-of-relationship come to a dramatic, fiery end two days after I lost Paco. It was a lot to happen all at once and for the past two weeks I’ve been numb. I hate numb. It’s boring and unproductive and I’m not entirely sure how to shake myself out of it.