Potential Memoir Titles Based on Today’s Activities: A List

  • The Week of Magically Getting Up at 6:30 a.m. Every Damn Day Like Some Kind of Fool
  • How I wrote & deleted the same sentence 6 times then decided to vacuum the stairs and now my cat is mad at me: The Jodi Chromey Story.
  • A Creeping Sense of Ennui & Hunger: Confessions of a Reluctant Grocery Shopper
  • Loving Your Short Hair Even When it Develops that Dennis the Menacesque Cowlick: A Guide to Baseball Caps
  • Choosing the Right Reaction to Sports Inquiries Based on the Tone of the Stranger Asking “How About Them Twins?” A Faux-Fan’s Notes
  • Avoiding Eye Contact with the Man in the Tie Who is Smiling At You: Adventures of a Shy Girl
  • I am Woman & You’ll Hear Me Roar if You Call Me Sir Again, You Inattentive Asshole
  • Feeling Bad About Your Femininity When You Just Don’t Fit: A True Story
  • How I Learned to Avoid Afternoon Naps By Shoving My Mouth Full of Grapes & Singing Loudly
  • A Procrastinatory Work of Staggering Genus: The Playlists Edition
  • Toilet Drudgery: Reflections of an Eldest Sister Upon the Arrival of Her Youngest Sister Who Texted Late Last Night to Ask if She Could Spend the Night and Thinks She’s Doing Her a Favor By Finding Her Own Ride to the Airport, a Memoir in Verse
  • Smug: An Autobiography
  • My Life in Turkey Burgers
  • 38,999 Words: Fighting Compulsive Urges
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