Emails From People Who Think I am Paul Westerberg: The Greatest Hits

rockinheretonight In honor of the release of Rockin’ Here Tonight, a 2-CD benefit compilation for Slim Dunlap (he replaced Bob Stinson in The Replacements, in case you are new here), I decided to do a little compilation of my own.

If you are really new here you might not realize that I’m responsible for a Paul Westerberg fan site. I am exactly that kind of fangirl. Since it’s not called jodichromeysfansiteforpaulwesterberg, a lot of people seem to think the site is, in fact, Paul Westerberg’s very own site where he writes all sort of inane things about himself. Paul, I’m sorry. It’s not that I haven’t made it abundantly clear that I am not Paul Westerberg. People just refuse to read and/or believe it.

So, I get a lot of email from people who think I am Paul Westerberg. Some days it pisses me off. Some days it amuses. And some days it just bums me right out. Often I don’t even know what to do with these emails. Parts of me wants to send obscenity-laced responses filled with capital letters, swears, and exclamations. Part of me wants to send snarky responses asking whether they know anything about Westerberg and his well-known Internet aversion. Then there is the huge part of me that wants to catfish the shit out of the dummies who don’t realize I am not Paul Westerberg. But, alas, I don’t. Mostly I ignore them. Paul, I’m sorry if you’re getting a reputation as an evil non-responder. That’s my fault.

Like I said, in honor of Rockin’ Here Tonight, I’ve dug through the emails and put together the greatest hits from people who think I am Paul Westerberg.

The Dude Who Got His Wish 6 Years After He Sent this Email

I’m quite the fan of yours, I actually grew up listening to the replacements thanks to my father. Even though the band was long broken apart by the time I heard it (I’m 18) I wanted the chance to thank you for introducing me to what I consider good music. Oh and, I’m sure this is the number one request, but I believe you should piece the band back together. You already rejoined one member for part of the Open Season soundtrack right?

Humor all your fans with one shot at it.

The One I Pretend Was Meant for Me

You make me happy.

The Worried Mother

so i am dirty clothes, ashtray floors and filthy jokes. you wont remember me but i dont caree… mowhawk girl number whatever. my son’s name is [redacted] he 8s a bass player… hands down the best… funk….jazz…rock…you name it youknow it… he was raised on dirty clothes and filthy jokesss. he came up there to mnpls. i am so worried about him. I know how the scene goesl. he needs someone to reach out to him and make his talent something you both can see,. search for [redacted],…. he is the groovin bass player. please help him. he is everything mohawk girl gave up an out and all about.

The Confessor

I’ve been playing the grooves out of Let it Be for the past week. I just can’t help myself. Thanks for the joy. Of course, it’s a burned copy someone gave me, and so I think I owe you a dime or two. In contrition, I promise to go buy legit copies of your most recent works. I’ll also send some dough to Slim’s benefit thingy if you tell me where to mail the dimes.

The Polite German

I’m from Germany, and I’m a great admirer of you and your music! I would therefore be very happy if you could send me 2 handsigned (autographed) photos of you. (one is for my collection and the other for the collection of my girl-friend Anna). I would be very pleased if you could fulfil my wishes. Many thanks in advance for your kindness. Success may always be at your side.

The Mom in Big Trouble

Hello, I am in big trouble. Please bear with me here. My Son, a HUGE fan of Paul’s, had a personal autograph from Paul from about 15 years ago or so. It was written on an empty soft pack of Marlboro Lights. I threw it away. My Son is very upset because Paul was his inspiration for his song writing and his forming a band which also did some touring in the US some years ago.

This autograph was very special to him and, of course, I had no idea. Is there any way I can get another autograph….authentic…on an empty pack of Marlboro Lights or Something?

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2 Comments

  1. M-----l 12.Nov.13 at 6:18 pm

    I think I would’ve been tempted to send that mom a pack of cigarettes with Paul’s autograph on it.

    Reply
    1. Jodi 12.Nov.13 at 6:19 pm

      A few of my friends thought I should too. The one that got to me the most was mohawk mother. So sad.

      Reply

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