My New Year’s resolutions for the Internet: A bitchy list

My personal resolutions are vague and involve more: More naps, more leaving the house, more reading, more value for my own writing that isn’t being paid for by someone. I like vagueness, it’s harder to quantify and therefore harder to fail. 2012: vaguely setting myself up for success.

But Internet, oh Internet I have some specific resolutions for you (all of which I’ve done at some point in the past year or so).

  • Women (and unsexist men) of the Internet, we really have to quit linking to and celebrating any best of/most anticipated lists where women are not adequately represented. Seriously, it’s these kinds of lists that continue to glorify all that men create and do for the arts and ignore women. It’s one of a myriad reasons women in the arts are continually overlooked. When you pass on these lists without noting the sexism you are saying, “hey I’m totally fine with the fact that this listmaker was too lazy/ignorant to look for art outside their own limited world view and/or art made by people just like them! (read: white amd male).” (Aside: You can, of course, link to these one-sided, sexist lists if you are sure to point out the one-sidedness and sexism of the list).
  • Related to the last: let’s point out sexism/racism/homophobia wherever we see it this year. Be relentless. They will say you’re being annoying or pedantic or no fun, but that’s only because you’re making them uncomfortable and they’re uncomfortable because they know you’re right.
  • No more “THIS!” No more “that moment when. . .” No more “the awkward moment when. . .” No more “pro tip.” No more “Just sayin’.” Stop it. Right now.
  • Resolve to cite your sources. I see you on Facebook taking credit for a witty saying that’s been going around Twitter for two days. You know what? That makes you look like jackass. If your personal resolution is to look like a jackass, then carry on.
  • All the things people will list in the comments below that are way better than the four I listed here
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  1. Caryn 03.Jan.12 at 9:23 pm

    Under the category of #4, no more “FAIL”. You can’t just say “phrase” and “fail” if you want your argument or position to be taken seriously and I’m tired of people thinking that “thing FAIL” is somehow some kind of superior intellect.

    also can we stop mentioning the kardashians? can we just stop mentioning them, ever?

    1. Jodi 04.Jan.12 at 11:27 am

      @Caryn, I heartily agree. Although I am known for saying “epic fail.” but actually saying as in “that macaroni and cheese I made last night was an epic fail” and not typing it.

  2. Barrett Chase 04.Jan.12 at 6:12 am

    You should post this as your status and encourage your friends to post it as theirs. Let’s see who is paying attention. I bet 99% of them won’t do it.

    1. Jodi 04.Jan.12 at 11:25 am

      @Barrett Chase, I believe 99% of people who do that should get an automatic 3-day suspension from Facebook. Same goes for “Please RT.”

  3. NBFB 04.Jan.12 at 11:44 am

    “Resolve to cite your sources.”
    You’re talking about me, aren’t you?

    1. Jodi 04.Jan.12 at 11:46 am

      @NBFB, Not specifically, but if you see yourself in that resolution do you need to cite your sources?

  4. Doug 06.Jan.12 at 11:49 pm

    This is totally the sort of post chicks write. I think I saw it on Facebook. Just sayin’.



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