Dear People of the Internet,
Hi, how are you? Things are going pretty well here at Supergenius HQ. I spent a lot of time working on a writing project, it involved notecards and the sinking suspicion that I had lost one of my stories. No worries though, I found it.
Anyway People of the Internet, I hate to be a bitch, but we need to talk. It’s about your use of the word douche. It has become the adjective du jour for everything from Bill O’Reilly to rock and roll bands. Enough. It’s time to put the douche out to pasture. I just finished catching up with the y’all by clearing out my Google Reader and I counted no less than 32 uses of douche or douchebag or doucherocket or douchey, and a bunch of other conjugations I have wiped from my mind.
Come on people of the Internet you’re better than this. You’re smart, creative people with a big vocabulary. You can come up with a new way to describe the things and people you don’t like. Bust out the thesaurus and show the world what you’re made of, and when all else fails don’t be afraid to fallback on those time-honored stalwarts like bastard, jackass, bitch — they’re classics for a reason.
Just say no to douche.
Love and kisses,