Hello awkward, have a seat next to me

wedding advice

This is some of the advice I left for my friends Scooter and Anna at their wedding last night. Being that I was the only single person over the age of 8 in the joint, I thought I’d be better offdispatching wise words to live by for people of any sort of couple-status and not just love advice for newlyweds.

I gotta say it was a little tough being the odd wheel. Generally it doesn’t bother me, but when we sat down to dinner the servers had a hard time dealing with the empty seat next to me. It kind of freaked them out. Perhaps they’ve never seen an Old Maid before. I am not sure what their problem was but before serving each course they had to ask and ask and ask again if the chair was empty. In their defense they did have a pretty cool synchronized serving technique reminiscent of Top Chef, but still.

The empty spot flustered them so much during the salad course that they just placed a salad in front of the empty chair because they didn’t know what else to do. I wanted to die. When you go to a wedding solo you are already acutely aware of your singlehood, having the servers repeatedly point it out to a table full of people, over half of whom you don’t know, just makes it all the worse.

Thankfully I drank enough to smooth over those feelings of odd-duckness and unworthiness to make it back to my larger group of friends in one emotional piece (there were nine of us and we had to bust into three different groups at dinner) and had a complete blast snarking and watching the cutie-pa-tootie rockabilly band.

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5 Comments

  1. FFJ 24.May.08 at 9:51 pm

    Holy Crap! If I knew you were a Twin Peaks fan, I spaced it. I FUCKING LOVED THAT SHOW! No longer will I question why we are friends. This seals the deal.

    Reply
  2. bamboozlde 25.May.08 at 6:33 pm

    open bar, you never let one down…

    Reply
  3. Jodi 25.May.08 at 6:35 pm

    open bar, i know this is kind of sudden and that we just met, but open bar, will you marry me?

    Reply
  4. scooterboy 03.Jun.08 at 2:18 pm

    i heard that wedding rocked the casbah.

    Reply
  5. Jodi 03.Jun.08 at 2:20 pm

    That was probably one of the best weddings, I’ve ever attended.

    Reply

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