A special Thanksgiving episode of Answering the Googlers Questions

On this day of thanks, I want to give back to the community. Here, I have answered some of the Googler’s questions to the best of my ability.

What’s the illusion song from South Park Guitar Hero?
Carry on My Wayward Son by Kansas

Why does a person tell you that they need a break and then later tell you that they love you?
Because they are afraid and confused. At least that’s my best guess.

How tall is charlotte gainsbourg?
I do not know. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find out. Her half-sister Lou is 5’9″ and her mom is 5′ 8 1/2″. Charlotte is quite a bit taller than her husband. That’s all I got, no numbers. Sorry.

What’s the i will be your long lost pal song?
You Can Call me Al, by Paul Simon

How to get a tattoo to stop itching
I would always slap at/pat mine, it helped. I think.

Percentage of tall women that will date short men?
In this house? 100%. In the world, I’d go with 50%.

Does cold eeze work?
No.

A&P john updike right decision?
Oh hell yes he made the right decision. He might not have seen it at the time, but walking out of the A&P was absolutely the right thing to do.

fine for impersonating a doctor
According to Pop Up Videos, the definitive source for all legal questions, it’s $5000.

What should i get my canadian boyfriend?
A blow job. He’ll love it.

What are the lyrics to girl in the blue dress by Mike Doughty?
My best guess, minus the bar-rump-pa-ba-dum-dums and the na na na na nas is this:
Frat boys gone to dogs
Crawling and sparring
Blue girl dance for me
The empty floor and I think

I love your baby fat
Your crooked nose is where it’s at

And I assess the essence of the mess
The perfect hourglass of my loneliness, yes
and I, uh, don’t care to count my chances
I just want the girl in the blue dress to keep dancing

What is this happiness?
It was not ever thus

I will prevail for you
Behind the mic I’m burning to

And, yeah I’m just a zip code man
Forgot my house and I’ll stay in if I can
I don’t care to keep my defenses (chances?)
I just want the girl in the blue dress to keep on dancing

And I assess the essence of the mess
The perfect hourglass of my happiness, yes
and I don’t care to count my chances
I just want the girl in the blue dress
I just want the girl in the blue dress
I just want the girl in the blue dress to keep dancing

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1 Comment

  1. PeeWee 22.Nov.07 at 9:59 pm

    I gotta get me a Canadian boyfriend! You crack me up.

    Reply

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