These are the questions that bring people to iwilldare.com, I thought I’d help them find the information they seek.

Q: If I lick a door will I get sick?
A: Yes, probably. Don’t go around licking doors, that’s just gross.

Q: Who sings ‘my body is your body i won’t tell anybody’?
A: We are scientists.

Q: How do you make vodo?
A: 2 parts smartass + 1 part musicgeek + 3 shakes of utter nerdiness + a dash of artsyfartsiness and the zest of some pure funny, shake and pour over ice.

Q: Where is the Open Book buidling in St. Paul?
A: Nowhere, it’s in Minneapolis.

Q: Can you help me are you from my brain?
A: No and no. But Mike Doughty might be able to help you out.

Q: Is showering ok if you have the chicken pox?
A: I would say yes, definitely okay. Of course earlier this week my neck and shoulder hurt so bad I was sure I was injected with poison and then later on I just decided that I was a superhero growing wings. So if you trust taking advice from me, shower away.

Q: Are ugly people smarter?
A: I’m not sure, I think that’s kind of subjective. I think dumb people are ugly, and people who might not be so good-looking are made inifinitely more attractive with their intelligence.

Q: What’s that I wish I had a river I could skate on song?
A: The River by Joni Mitchell

Q: She was hanging on Johnny and then what?
A: He was holdin’ on tight, and I could feel her coming from a mile away. There was no use talking, there was nothing to say.