I am so excited for tonight’s Andrew Bird and Wilco show that I am vibrating. I don’t think the two cups of coffee are helping matters. I find it hard to believe that in eight short hours I will finally get to rest these weary eyes on the beautiful visage of Andrew Bird. My girl parts are all atingle just imagining it.
Because of this momentous occasion I have pondered breaking out the patented, can’t lose Make Sweet, Sweet Love to Me Vibe™ Part of me thinks that I’ve just waited too long to even fire up the Vibe and then part of me is like “come on you act like you just go see Andrew Bird everyday.” This is, in fact, my first time ever witnessing Andrew Bird in concert. I can guarantee there will be crying. I am a goober.
I also worry about bringing out the Vibe with Jeff Tweedy in such close proximity. After the dream I had about the Wilco concert, I am not too keen on doing anything that might wind up with me discovering Jeff Tweedy has a vagina. Because of that dream I will only lust from afar.
Plus, well, let’s face it my mojo is not that strong. I haven’t had sex in a coon’s age and I should probably save up all the Make Sweet, Sweet Love to Me Vibe’s power for the upcoming Mike Doughty show at Bryant Lake Bowl. Right?
Oh my god, I cannot wait. If you don’t hear from me after today I probably either died of happiness or ran off with a rock and roller.