Letter to an Internet

Dear Internet,

What in the hell is my problem? I just got into an e-fight with someone I’ve never met over Apple computers. Now I’m so mad my heart is racing and I’m projectile crying because something has to shoot from my body because all the pent-up, steamy anger is going to make explode if something doesn’t give.

Seriously. Am I fucking insane? Why do I let this get to me. Dear Internet, do you ever let this get to you and then feel like a complete idiot for letting someone you don’t even know get to you?

For instance, Internet, there’s a woman online that I hate with the passion of a thousand burning suns. I hate her in the most 8th grade, juvenile way. I hate her so much that I want to exclude her and leave snarky comments on her web site that I cannot help myself but to read. I even have snotty little nicknames for this woman that I use with my friends.

Why do I hate her? Because she’s snarky and judgmental and can’t form a fucking opinion unless it’s about me and how I write (or do not write).

This is not the point. The point is, Internet, is there something wrong with me because I let these people get me so mad I can’t see straight or it is you, Internet, that has the problem?

Oh my God Internet. I think I just have too much pent up passion and have nothing else to waste it on except petty squabbles and debates. Clearly I need my head checked because I can’t even let the blissful notion that tomorrow night at this time I will be basking in the multiple orgasms that will be provided by the music of Andrew Bird and Wilco.

I am going to go bang my head against the wall to see if this helps dissipate some of my pent up anger.

Love you lots,

P.S. I just gave this about 6 seconds more thought and it’s me. It is totally, totally me because I just remember that whenever I read really bad short stories or books it makes me just as angry (well at least almost as angry, I don’t projectile cry over bad short stories).

(Visited 27 times, 1 visits today)


  1. shokkou 10.Oct.07 at 6:23 am

    Grrl that IS a lot of passion! There’s obviously a hilarious short-story in there. It’s kind of sweet that you actually give a sh!t what other people think. Maybe one day you’ll come to the realization that you are just SUPERIOR to those annoying disagreeable people.

  2. Suzy 10.Oct.07 at 8:38 am

    I am this person too. I irrationally hate 2 people I work with 1) because she makes up stuff and tries to bullshit it as the truth and the second person because she tried to get my (superior) team of co-workers to participate in some rah-rah work event. And even though I know they are both new and therefore enthusiastic, (as opposed to jaded and cynical as the rest of us), I sneer both inwardly and outwardly whenever I chance to see them. But no projectile anything yet at this point-besides snarky comments to said co-workers.

  3. Jodi 10.Oct.07 at 10:25 am

    Suzy at least your irrational hate has something to do with people who are in your life and you have contact with day to day. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with hating your co-workers. I’ve hated a few in my time, but none of them work here anymore.

    Also, Shokku, I think what makes me so mad is that I know what these people think doesn’t matter, and that’s what makes me even angrier is that I am upset about what these people who don’t matter say.

  4. Lori 11.Oct.07 at 3:20 pm

    Ohhh … can we know who it is? Please? If we promise to take your side — which, of course, duh! I think the best way to get even with a jackass is to out them on their jackassishness. And yeah, that’s a word.

  5. david 12.Oct.07 at 9:54 pm

    All the time… whenever I get consistently negative criticism of my site from a particular person, it frustrates me to no end, but I try to balance that with the positive commentary that comes my way (and holding my warm puppy).

  6. The Other Mike 16.Oct.07 at 12:53 pm

    Well, whenever I realize that I am mad at myself for being mad…that is when I realize I need to get laid.

    Not that I will attain said ultimategift of distraction, but it at least puts my mind in a better place…insert ‘heh, heh’ here…but it’s true, and the truth is always a defense, right?

    Good luck with your pursuits, you know, writing short stories and other worthwhile pursuits…and distractions.

    Somebody stop me…too late…. 🙂


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