My Apathy is at its Peak

On Eurydice there’s a live version of Jeff Tweedy singing “Dear Employer” at maybe First Ave. but I am really not sure where. At the end of the song, after singing “That’s the reason that I quit, that’s the reason. . .” he says, “That sounds really good to me. I think everyone should quit their jobs tomorrow. That’s what wrong. I don’t say many political things, but really that’s the only thing that’s wrong with the world, people have to work . . .”

And as I am sitting here in my dark cell at Hell, Inc. sucking down bad coffee and wondering where I went wrong I just think, “Amen Mr. Tweedy, Amen.”

My apathy is at its peak. I’ve just returned back to Hell after a long four-day weekend. Before I ran from the building on Thursday, I celebrated (or rather mourned) my eight year anniversary of working here. Eight fucking years.

What the hell?

I spent a lot of time this weekend pondering what to do next. I don’t hate my job. At least I don’t hate it more than any other job I might have. The benefits are nice and I love my co-workers. But still. . . eight fucking years. I worry that I’ve grown too complacent and comfortable. I feel like I should jump ship to greener pastures or some such bullshit.

But then I worry that any other place will be just like this place minus the coworkers I love and the five weeks of vacation. And really the biggest question is why won’t someone pay me to read books, eat Nutter Butters and dabble in writing short fiction? Because that’s what I really want to do with my time.

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  1. The Other Mike 18.Sep.07 at 11:45 am

    Well, you summed it up nicely. Good luck with your decision(s), since it really isn’t a single decision, more of an ongoing decision you will revisit pretty much every day.

    I retired once, although it was not a conscious, career-path-like decision. Through good friends and family, I was able to ride out about 4 straight years of un- and under-employment.

    It was …interesting… to live like that. It was liberating, it liberated me from work, then my house, then any expensive hobby or interest or the ability to help out other friends or family financially which removed me from any of those responsibilities. I learned a lot about myself, some things that I did not really want to know; but it also simplified my life tremendously, because it cut me down the things that fit into my car. It built character and I needed some of that character. Ah, I could go on, if I write my auto bio, I’ll give you a signed copy.

    In the short-term though, my advice is to enjoy your non-work interests and tolerate your work interests. Hell Inc is the known evil, other businesses are the unknown evils…some better, some worse, all unknown. Best wishes. 🙂

  2. PeeWee 20.Sep.07 at 12:35 am

    I subscribe to a horoscope newsletter, it is a very general horoscope applicable to everyone.
    This is the “astrocast” for 9/19

    September 19: Sun square Pluto
    When the Sun squares Pluto, people in positions of power, or to whom you have given power, have strong beliefs about what you should do and how you should show up. You may feel like you are not getting the recognition you deserve and the tendency is to get involved in a power struggle. Instead, focus on solidifying your own power-base. The most important thing you may do this week is to ask yourself if you are in an appropriate work or life situation. Whenever Pluto in Sagittarius is involved in an aspect, it’s about letting go of a belief.

    (Looks like you were just a day early!)


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