I can’t get you out of my head, a list

One of the few joys of having a web site where you write compulsively everyday is the therapeutic nature of writing down your problems and leaving them somewhere outside of your head for someone else to see. It’s not a cry for help or a plea for attention. It’s just an unburdening, as if just saying the problem’s name gives it less power. Sort of like telling a bartender all your problems. Here’s a list of things I can’t seem to stop thinking about lately.

  1. The song “Wig Wam Bam” by Sweet. I’ve listened to it about 39,298 times today. No lie. I listened to it for about hour hours straight, until a co-worker asked me to turn it off or down because it was driving her nuts.
  2. How much I miss my FFJ.
  3. I haven’t slept for more than five hours in a row since November 20th.
  4. While I was brushing my teeth today I was looking in the mirror watching my mouth, which I’m not a big fan of. It’s small and it talks too much, and it totally gets lost in the shadow of my giant bug-like eyes. I decided that why I never get kissed. Then I remembered the fact that I have never, ever, EVER in my entire life had a cold sore. I’m totally free of that strain of Herpes. I thought perhaps I should turn that fact into some sort of marketing campaign to make myself more make-outable.
  5. My complete and total winter driving anxiety. I’m convinced I will crash Ruby into the side of another hill sometime this winter. It makes me want to stay home and never leave Supergenius HQ.
  6. Avocados.
  7. Christmas shopping and how I have no desire or money to buy anything for anyone except that $10 t-shirt I got Al, the cutest girl on earth™.
  8. I haven’t practiced in weeks. Isn’t a declining sex drive a sign of impending doom?
  9. Tomorrow I will be 34.5 exactly and everyone I know seems to have babies or is having babies or too young to care about babies and I’m convinced that in six months my ovaries will shrivel like prunes and fall out. Though I tell people I’m not going to worry about it until I’m 37. I lied, I decided to start worrying about it tonight.
  10. Lionel Essrog from Motherless Brooklyn and Mike Doughty.
  11. The story I want to write that starts, “They say that alley six is cursed” and is told from the point of view of a man.
  12. The music was soothing and everyone was grooving.
  13. I’m really grasping at straws here. I think it’s time to eat a cookie and read a book.
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1 Comment

  1. Kris 06.Dec.06 at 3:53 pm

    What a coincidence! Tomorrow I will be 41 exactly!

    As regards the babies or lack thereof, I had one at 40 and we are not sure we are done yet.

    Where there is cake, there is hope, and there is always cake.

    Reply

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