a little bit gay

last night while babysitting, Jaycie and Max conned me into taking them to Michaels (a craft store). the conning wasn’t too hard, because i’m a giant sucker. also, i like to spend my time with them doing stuff and not just sitting in front of the TV. plus, i totally get my rocks off by being a creative influence in their lives.

so as we were driving to Michaels, i joked that we should go to wal-mart instead.

“OH NO,” max shouted. “we can’t go to wal-mart.”
“why not?” i asked.
“it’s bad.”
“i know,” i said. “i was just kidding.”
“why is it bad?” jaycie asked.
“they don’t treat people well,” i said.
“what people?” she asked.
“well women, for one,” i said.

i’ve never seen her with such a look of disgust on her face.

the talk then moved to marriage.

“what’s your last name?” jaycie asked.
“why is it different than mommy’s if you are sisters?” she asked.
“because when mommy got married she took your daddy’s last name. women do that sometimes.”
“are you gonna get married?” max asked.
“someday maybe,” i said.
“you should find a boy and fall in love with him and get married,” he said as he climbed out of ruby, my truck.
“that’s easier said than done,” i said.

he jumped out of my truck and stopped.

“oh, i know why it’s so hard,” he said. “because i’m the boy you love THE MOST.”
“maxwell,” jaycie said. “What about me?”
“you’re a girl,” he said.
“are you going to marry a girl?” he asked.
“no,” i said. “i’m not gay.”
“i’m a little bit gay,” max said.
“a lot of people are,” i said.

then we went into Michaels and were immediately distracted by the bumpy scissors.

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  1. UH 08.Apr.05 at 2:50 pm

    Well, at least he’s not a little bit country. That might have caused a dance number to break out – assuming someone had a pair of purple socks handy.

  2. Thomas 11.Apr.05 at 1:36 pm

    I’m laughing out loud, for real, at the thought of “Donny & Marie” singing, “I’m a little bit country… I’m a little bit gay…” And at that moment the live band stops, Marie stares at Donny while he’s cluelessly dancing back and forth and the entire worldwide Mormon populace turns ashen-white.


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