lost in the malaise

sometimes, despite your best intentions, the day just gets away from you. i had grand plans of productivity which melted away in the saturday afternoon malaise that is book reading and movie watching.

i finished What Was She Thinking? Notes on a Scandal. it was sad and disturbing and the story of the teacher who has an affair with her teenaged student is totally stolen by the lonely 60-year-old teacher longing for friends. it was like a trainwreck i couldn’t take my eyes off of. the character, barbara, is like my worst nightmare put onto paper. i shudder to think that some day i will be 60, living alone with a cat, longing for friends. hell, if i’m doing just this some saturday night 30 years from now, you have my permission to come over and shoot me.

i also watched thirteen, which was wonderful and horrifying and might as well have been science-fiction for as closely as it related to my experience of a 13-year-old. and while it was no bowl of cherries, being a 6’1″ 13 year old in 1985, i still think i’d prefer my experience over what was depicted in the movie.

it’s funny when you read in the media about how we’re delaying adulthood, and how it’s socially acceptable to be college-student-like up into your 30s and then see a movie like this and see these little girls who look like grown women. sure it’s a movie and all, but i see them in the malls too. little girls who look and talk like women. it’s frightening. and how messed up are we that half the population can’t wait to be older and the rest are putting off adulthood as long as they can? no wonder we’re so messed up.

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