Hey Darling Ones,

Last night I started Monsters: A Fan’s Dilemma by Claire Dederer and it’s giving me fizzy, Pop Rocks brain in the best way.

This is wonderful because I’m bored to death of anxious prairie dog brain, which involves my inner-monologue shouting,”EVERYTHING IS WRONG IN HERE” every 42 seconds lest I forget I had a stroke and my body is now composed of floppy scoops and lead.

I’m only three chapters in, so I don’t have any real opinion on the book. However, I am already arguing with Dederer even though I haven’t heard her entire argument. I love to argue so much I annoy myself.

This isn’t about the book, though. This is about Liz Phair’s phenomenal album “Exile in Guyville,” which turns 30 today.

I’m linking this book and this record due to Dederer’s definition of fan (at least thus part of it)”

“An audience member is a consumer of a piece of art. The audience member is not defined by that piece of art. A fan on the other hand is a consumer plus. A consumer beyond. A consumer who is also being consumed. She steals part of her identity from the art, even as it steals its importance from her. She becomes defined by the art.”

There are problems with some of the latter parts of her definition, but we’ll get into that another day.

Instead, I would like to tell you that I, 100%, use Liz Phair’s art to define myself, and I have for 30 years now. So much of my identity is wrapped up in loving Liz Phair it’s hard to imagine who I would be without her.

Probably a boring buzzkill. Probably much more likable,

There’s a line in “High Fidelity” where Rob Gordon tries to argue one’s value as a person is based on what you like and not what you are like. While I wouldn’t go that far, I do believe the art you love telegraphs a lot about you.

I have a whole rant about dudes who love Arcade Fire (pre-allegations), Wes Anderson movies, and books by Jonathan Safran Foer or Dave Eggers or Michael Chabon.

So what do I think being a fan of Liz Phair and “Exile” specifically says about me?

That I enjoy sex but am wary of men, which is a rough as a heterosexual woman. I struggle with embracing my sexuality without being reduced to just that. It says I will never not call out a Guyville when I see one. Not even once. It says I love The Rolling Stones even though they’re problematic. It also says the things I love are not above scrutiny and critique. It says I’m cool, tough, vulnerable, and luscious (wrong record, I know).

It says so much more, but I am running out of steam. The most frustrating side-effect of the dumb stroke is that typing is not just difficult, but exhausting. Even when I take breaks, my floppy scoop gives up after a few hundred words.

I was gonna point all the writing I did on Liz Phair during I Will Dare’s 22-years, but I clicked through nine pages of archives when I finally got bored. I’ll add a bunch of links at the bottom.

So happy anniversary “Exile in Guyville,” I’m so glad you exist.

Love,
Jodi

As promised, some historical writing on Liz

Klosterman Should Keep Liz Phair’s Name Out of His Mouth

Even When Talking About Art Made by Women Men Do Not Value Art Made by Women

Your Collarbones are Overrated: On ‘Liz Phair’s Exile in Guyville’ by Gina Arnold

Greatest Hits According to Me: Liz Phair, in honor of her birthday

The COVID Diaries: One Thing About the Ani & Liz Convo

How Do You Keep Your Mind Off All the Tyranny?

‘Soberish’ is Goodish

The COVID Diaries: Flap My Wings & Fly Away From Here

Day 18 of 200: Flap Your Wings & Fly Away From Here

Barb Abney, Sleater-Kinney & Being a 40something Woman Who Creates Things

The post 30 Years in Exile appeared first on I Will Dare.

Hi Darling Ones,

When I saw that my favorite podcast, 60 Songs that Explain the 90s, which happens to be the only one I listen to, was discussing Liz Phair’s “Fuck and Run” in the latest episode I was elated.

When I saw the guest was author Sam Lipsyte I deflated a bit. Not because I dislike Lipsyte, I’ve read and enjoyed quite a few of his books, but I was a little worried about how two men would discuss this ground-breaking, generation-defining work of art by a woman.

As we have discussed many times before, men do not value art made by women. This episode is a prime example of how even when discussing art made by a woman, men can actively not value art made by women.

Sounds tricky and impossible, and yet. . . it is not.

It starts out so well with host Rob Harvilla talking about the police station scene from “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” and the way it illustrates how boys can get away with everything and girls can get away with nothing. Plus, he talks some about Material Issue.

RIGHT? Liz Phair + Ferris Bueller + Material Issue, this episode was me in podcast form.

This did not end well, though. Instead of learning new insights or seeing a new perspective on this 30-year-old song, this episode left me angry and frustrated.

I’m of two minds when it comes to men discussing seminal art by women.

Part of me, believes yes, yes men should talk to each other about art made by women (and nonbinary people).

The other part of me is all, “can’t they find one goddamn woman to talk about this?”

I wish they had found one goddamn woman to talk about this record.

The problem here, which is a problem with a lot of men discussing most anything, is they cannot see outside their own narrow, male perspective to even think someone who is not a man might see things a little differently. And that the difference in perspective is important and valid.

For example, at one point Harvilla is talking about the song “Canary” and how it has taken hindsight to appreciate it.

He says, “The resignation in her voice there, the exasperation. If I played this one on air at my college radio station as a 19-year-old yutz, I don’t know if I would have grasped all the nuances there, but who did, really?”

Who did, really? WHO DID, REALLY?

Well, to begin with me, a 21-year-old yutz when this song came out, and all the other young female yutzs I knew. Maybe, an entire generation of young women got the nuances there because Liz Phair was singing about situations we could relate to on a visceral level. Phair was singing our lives back to us (that line stolen from Neko Case’s “Guided By Wire”).

The sort of male-gaze-iness of the discourse only got worse once Lipsyte joined the discussion.

What is so frustrating is they came so close to getting it. Harvilla mentions all the “Guyvilles” that pop up around “Exile in Guyville.”

They even mentioned how sexist the reaction to Phair’s later work was and how misogyny may have played a role in how she was viewed. However, they continually conflated (male) rock critic reaction with fan reaction. It never occurred to them, or if it did they never said it, that there is an entire world of reception outside what the Dude Rock Establishment thinks.

And the worst part, and what underlines my point about men not valuing art made by women, is only one other female artist is mentioned in the entire episode. Phair is described as getting close to having a Courtney Love growl.

They did, however, mention: The Rolling Stones (obviously), Material Issue, Dave Berman, Urge Overkill, Nirvana, David Bowie, Jesus Lizard, and Fugazi.

They did not mention: Riot Grrrl, Alanis Morissette, or Lilith Fair, which might be asking a lot considering it’s a podcast about music in the 90s.

In my ideal world they’d have discussed Phair in league with the Stones and Morissette. They would have compared her to Bowie and Madonna.

It shouldn’t ever be all one or the other. This is how we get pink ghettos, bullshit “women in music” lists, and gender-nonconforming people being wholly ignored.

While you might be thinking, Oh, Jodi’s just going on about this nonsense again, it’s not nonsense. Pop culture is culture. As long as we continue to let men control the narrative without calling them out on their myopic bullshit, women (and nonbinary folks) will continue to be erased.

Never getting off this soapbox,
Jodi

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Hi Darling Ones,

Today was an unexpected slow work day in what in the midst of these busy summer months. I’m in that lull where I’ve gone as far as I can on all my projects and am now waiting for feedback. It’s most welcome because I slept like garbage last night and woke up on the furious side of the bed this morning.

Because I don’t feel like thinking about the tyranny of this specific moment in history, here’s an abridged list of things I’ve been thinking about instead.

1. How I really want someone to make a 6-season animated TV series based on the Scott Pilgrim books by Bryan Lee O’Malley. The movie is fine and all, and I say this as someone who gets a little stirred up by Michael Cera, but it doesn’t do the characters or the story any justice. They reboot and remake all the Batmans and the Star Wars and all the other kinds of bullshit I do not care about, and I would just really like the entertainment industry to cater to my very specific tastes. It’s not too much to ask for.
2. I’m reading The Secret History of Home Economics, and mostly I’ve been thinking about how during the World Wars American people were all, sure I’ll stop eating butter and plant a Victory garden and do my part and how now we can’t even get them to wear a mask or take a free vaccine.
3. I’m also thinking about how right after WWII women got the shaft (and that is not a metaphor for getting laid).
4. And another thing? The author mentioned how Hamburger Helper was derived from, and I quote, “Minnesota’s hotdish casserole.”
5. For the record, Minnesota’s hotdish IS casserole. It comes in all kinds of varieties: tuna, tator tot, hamburger, wild rice chicken and broccoli. . . the possibilities really are endless.
6. Liz Phair & anger. I’ve been listening to Liz Phair’s music pretty much nonstop since Friday when my bodily autonomy was removed from my being by SCotUS. Mostly I’ve been thinking about how I was always asked why I was so angry in the 90s. I was often called bitter and jaded. One of my nicknames was the Bitter Arts Goddess/Minotaur. I’m still pondering all this anger, but mostly I keep thinking, “Wow, 20something Jodi did not know anger.”
7. Liz Phair also makes me think about sex, which has been on my mind, and my sexuality. I don’t think I have much more to say about this at the moment, but you should just know I’m still thinking about it.
8. Tacos. I’m gonna make tacos sometime this week and I’m kind of excited. Ever since the plague started in 2020 I’ve had this antagonistic attitude about dinner. The fact that I have to think about dinner every god damn day for the rest of my life is the worst. The worst of the worst is thinking about dinner in the midst of a sticky, hot Minnesota summer when the only thing that sounds good is being a robot who only needs a squirt of oil to keep on going. So, when anything strikes me as “sounding good” I get really excited about it. I might even make guacamole if avocados don’t cost as much as my mortgage (I am actively trying not to think about inflation and how expensive food is because it makes me really very anxious in ways I do not like).
9. The other thing I’ve been thinking about is whether the universe will be able to handle how many gigawatts of smugness I’ll be kicking out when this who Jan 6 political theater comes to an end and zero things happen to anyone involved. This is a pessimistic view, but I believe in my heart that no republican will ever be called to account for the atrocities they inflict on people. I would very much enjoy being wrong about this.
10. How I need to finish doing laundry. I haven’t done laundry in nearly a fortnight because I hurt my back, I own a lot of underpants, and I only change my t-shirt and pants when I shower. I’m feral and unsuitable for other humans. However, I’ve gone through my usual line up for pants and today I had to wear my least favorite pair. These pants are supposed to be for tall and fat women, and while they have ample room for my hips & thighs, every time I sit down they become knickers, which I hate.

How are you distracting yourself form the tyranny?
Jodi

The post How Do You Keep Your Mind Off All the Tyranny? appeared first on I Will Dare.

Darling Ones,

I’m not quite done criticizing the Klosterman book. Part of me wants to make a joke about how I have not yet begun to bitch about this insidious book. Then there’s the part of me that remembers I’m a woman who is expressing an opinion contrary to a man’s so the bitching is probably implied.

In his new book, The Nineties Klosterman mostly ignores all the things women did in the 90s. Mostly, I say, because he does spend some time discussing Liz Phair and Alanis Morisette. He pits them against each other. Phair gets the indie cred and not so many sales. Alanis gets all the sales but her artistic integrity is questioned.

He even writes at one point, “Phair, conversely, had made a record for dudes who collected records about dudes.”

Yes. He is saying Liz Phair wrote “Exile in Guyville” for dudes. There are not enough rage/barfing emojis or metaphors to adequately express how angry that sentence makes me. Quit trying to kick women out of the music club, Chuck. For christ’s sake maybe not every single fucking thing in rock & roll has to be centered around your boner. Fucker.

He claims that what people wanted was young women who were talking about sex autobiographically. Not Liz Phair and Alanis Morisette as individuals, I guess? Any chick in a skirt would do?

Then he says the long term consequence was an artistic impediment to both of them because people were only interested in their sex songs. . . he does this while lumping them onto female songwriters who sing about sex. He does the thing he claims has been an impediment to their success. He’s right there doing it in the book.

If that’s not enough sexist bullshit from him, he also claims Morisette selling 33 million copies of “Jagged Little Pill” makes her too popular to tell the truth. However, Nirvana selling 30 million copies of “Nevermind” is music-history altering and generation-defining. If Alanis was a man named Alan, she would be as revered as Kurt Cobain.

At one point he says Phair cannot dismantle the patriarchy because the patriarchy has a crush on her. Because, of course, Liz Phair is responsible for men’s feelings. What kind of rape culture bullshit is this?

Oh, it’s the exact kind of rape culture bullshit he was spinning for Spin in 2003 when he included this sentence in an intro to a Q&A with Phair:
“And even though she’s now 36, Ms. Phair can still bring the pain: She showed up at our interview wearing the most distracting denim miniskirt I have ever seen”

In the same article he also asks her, “Do you ever exaggerate your interest in sex for artistic purposes?” and basically goes on to nag her about not making songs that are as sexy to him as her previous work.

Tell me again why he gets to keep writing books and be held up as some sort voice of a generation, a cultural critic? As far as I can tell he still can’t see past his own fucking boner to take Phair seriously as an artist (Morisette too for that matter).

Okay, I think I’ve said my piece now. Maybe.

Fumingly yours,
Jodi

The post Klosterman Should Keep Liz Phair’s Name Out of His Mouth appeared first on I Will Dare.

So Darling Ones,

Because I had an overnight houseguest last night I didn’t get a chance to tell you yesterday was my favorite night of the year. The overnight houseguest was Sister #4 who came in from Brookings because she had a company meeting/holiday party in town. I wrote that first sentence in such a way as to make you think I might have gotten laid and was going to dish some juicy romantic details.

Alas! You should know, getting laid would be a reason to make a day my favorite day of the year. However, I’m talking about Spotify Wrapped day, where Spotify dishes all the juicy music details of your year in listening. I love Spotify Wrapped day because I cannot get enough useless data about myself. Also, it gives me a chance to be smug, sanctimonious, and a smidge sheepish.

It’s a day where my emotions run the gamut. It bums me out because so many of the men I like had lists that were completely made up of male artists, proving for the one millionth time that men do not value art made by women. It also bums me out because people are assholes right out loud judging people for using Spotify, for sharing their Wrapped lists, and in general not appreciating music the right way.

Spotify does suck and vastly underpays artists. I cannot argue against that. However, just because a person uses Spotify does not mean they don’t listen to music in other ways. I have bought (and pre-ordered) an embarrassing number of records this year. Some through Bandcamp, others from the artist’s website, some through record stores. I use Spotify as a try before you buy kinda situation. Just like I use the library to read a book before I buy it. I’m almost fifty, I’m tired of inviting untested garbage into my house.

Because I spend a broad swaths of time completely alone and frequently in a world that isn’t entirely real, Spotify Wrapped feels like a nice check-in that the year actually progressed the way I thought it did. I went through my Wrapped list and was all, “yep, yep, sounds right, makes sense, that’s embarrassing, yep, yep. right on.”

Spotify said I listened to something like 90 hours of Frightened Rabbit, specifically the song “The Twist.” This makes sense because I listened to Midnight Organ Fight every night before bed for months on months on months.

Julien Baker made my Top 5 list. Of course. I listened to Little Oblivions on repeat to see if a song could, indeed, be too sad. And The Marfa Tapes record is in there under Jack Ingram’s name. This might be my favorite record of 2021. With the Julien Baker, the latest Liz Phair,a nd Lucy Dacus’ VBS coming up close behind.

If you are so inclined you can peep my Top Songs of 2021 Spotify Playlist, which includes, much to my amusement, “Just What I Needed” by The Cars, “Magic Man” by Heart, and “Into Your Arms” by The Lemonheads.

Always in love with that song,
Jodi

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