Hi Darling Ones, One of the best things about being 6’5″ is the ability to reach almost all of the things. I’ve been more than six-feet tall for 41 years, and I have go-go-gadget rams. My wingspan is impressive and so I’ve reached all the high shelves for most of of my life. Every Thanksgiving I would spend many minutes at the grocery store getting stuffing stuff down for old ladies and short women. This happened for years. Occasionally, at…
Hola Darling Ones, Have you tried the Selena Gomez Oreos? They are the best thing to happen to me so far this summer. Even better than the duck that stopped by to visit while I was at the Blue Ox Oasis (Sister #4’s backyard pool). They are cinnamony and Oreo-y and totally delicious. I’m generally a poo-pooer when it comes to all the stupid flavors of all the things. Remember when Oreos were just Oreo-flavored? We had two choices –…
Oh, Darling Ones, Today is my 53rd birthday and boy is it being a god-damned day. My 26-year-old washing machine decided to give up on life, and so my gift from the universe is a busted washer full of dirty water and clothes. Happy birthday, Dear Jodi! Everything I touched today has turned to shit — I spilled a 40oz glass of ice water on my lap, a bathroom cleaner I ordered leaked all over the toothpaste in the same…
Hi Darling Ones, Yesterday I got a new set of wheels. The wheels are not attached to the red Jeep Wrangler of my teenage dreams. There was no giant bow. Instead, I got a generic Mediline wheelchair paid for by my poor people’s insurance. Happy Birthday to me? My birthday isn’t until next week so technically there is time for my head to clear, my right side to stop being a dick, and someone to buy me a car. But,…
Hola Darling Ones, How are you? Today I’m a little bored and frustrated. While there are 88 things I could probably be doing that might ease my boredom, I’m choosing to type and bellyache about it. Plus, I just paid $1148 for my first-half property taxes. It’s why I busted out the laptop in the first place. Since I had her out I thought, hey, I should update my much-neglected blog. While you probably could not care less, the writing…
Hola Darling Ones, I’m becoming the kind of person who says “hola” in greeting. I say it about 93 times a day. Each time a cat comes down the stairs I say, “Hola, Gatito/Gatita. I love you. You’re a cat!” They often need reminders both that I love them and that they’re cats. I don’t want them to forget, especially because Fergus’ theme song is about her being the worst. In my head it’s a Gidgetesque song. A Jodi &…
