Hi Darling Ones, When the Anger Stage of grief set in I didn’t expect it to be a free-floating sort of annoyance that plagues my every waking minute. The Anger Stage of grieving was supposed to involve fist-shaking at the clouds, “ohh, I’m angry these people* I loved died.” Mine is nothing like that. I’m angry all the time about everything. I can’t remember what I pinned the anger to yesterday, but today it’s the motherfucker who ding-donged my doorbell…
Oh Darling Ones, Despite the positive upswing on Friday, my Uncle Danny died last night. He was my mom’s twin brother and only 71. He loved Minnesota sports, his son, Billy, and the song “Hotel California.” One Thanksgiving my siblings and I spent the entire evening trying to get his Android phone to play “Hotel California” whenever his phone rang. As iPhone users we failed in this mission because we could not even find the song on his phone. Danny…
Dear Darling Ones, I frequently like to tell my BFK that I’m going to invest a lot of money into crystals and place them around my house for the benefits of their juju. Or vibes. Or whatever. “You don’t really believe in that, do you?” She asks, her face scrunching up in an expression halfway between skepticism and concern. “Not really,” I’ll say. “But it can’t hurt!” Or I’ll say, “No, but they are pretty.” Or, “I do really like…
Hi Darling Ones, Sometime last week while I was dealing with the consequences of all my bad decisions, I read an excellent essay by Caryn Rose that has been rattling around inside me ever since. In her essay, “‘no commitment’ will end up meaning exactly that,” Rose writes about the dismal state of touring for musicians, annoying people who talk through concerts, and how nobody cares about music the way they used to because they got no skin in the…
Dear Darling Ones, I have a love/hate relationship with tiny, travel-sized items like toiletries, itty bitty booze bottles, and a third thing I can’t think of right now. As a humanlike creature I am hardcoded to adore tiny things — babies (once they’re like nine months old), kittens, LEGO replicas of popular sitcoms from the early aughts, and travel-sized everything. From the time we start to exist we are taught to equate tiny with cute. This is also why I…
Hi Darling Ones, How are you? I’m alright. Grief continues, abated for the most part. Friday was the first Friday since my dad died where I didn’t spend the entire day saying, “Dad died X weeks ago today.” I realized that on Saturday and felt wretched. In return he’s haunting my dreams. Seems fair. Aside from that, I stacked up a few good days in a row mood and work wise. Then my brain and mood rebelled and I had…
