well, it’s amazing how rested one feels after sleeping for 14 hours. it’s also amazing how many strange dreams one has when sleeping for so long.

i dreamt the sisters and i had to interview strippers for some part we were throwing. the strippers totally sucked ass and i made the comment, “you’d think she could shave her legs before an audition.” one of the strippers was really tall and the other really short. the tall one gave me her slutty slut shoes and i loved them.

i dreamt i was moving to ohio and random strangers on the street kept hitting me. the mailman hit me with a cardboard poster tube, a guy hit me with a book, one guy was gonna hit me with something, but i got smart and flung a shopping cart into the air and it landed on him. he was squished. in the dream i was eating dinner with my dad when a note arrived at our table. it was from one of my fellow backwash columnists and it said if i wanted to meet him, i had to hold up 7 fingers. i woke up before i found out what happened.

i dreamt i had twin daughters. they were korean. their names were wang and chung. they were cute and little, i bought them each a kitten.

i dreamt i had to go to a night wedding, in the neighborhood where i grew up. in the dream the groom had some how arranged for the stars to rearrange themselves to spell out, “i love you michelle.” it made me sad and jealous. the bride had really bad 80s hair.

i dreamt again about ohio, how i had to meet the aforementioned fellow backwash columnist. but there was a blizzard going on. i was driving a fred flintstone car and i kept having to use my feet to get it going. when i’d get stuck in a snow drift, i’d pick it up by the sides and pull it out. it was terrible. in ohion all the buildings were very close together and the streets were narrow. a bum was gonna whack me (must have been a carryover from the other dream) but i conned him into helping me find the meeting place. the meeting place was a giant grocery store, that was empty because it was in the midst of being remodeled. i found aforementioned fellow backwash columnist and told him how the people in ohio kept whacking me. he didn’t believe me.

i dreamt i was working on an airforce base. i had to take this leash thing and walk it down all these twisty, turny wonky stairs. i was terrified, because i was afriad to fall. looking at all the twisty turns made me sick, but i need to look at my feet when i walk down stair otherwise i fall. it was quite a dilemma. i kept looking up and begging not to fall.

those are the only dreams i can remember. i am sure there are more that were lost when i woke up.