i’ve spent most of the night and morning obsessing about the frist two stories we have to workshop for class on thursday. these are stories written by two of my classmates, and not John Updike’s “A&P” (which happens to be one of my all-time faves, right after James Joyce’s “Araby”).
the stories aren’t good. in fact, they are heartbreakingly bad. i’ve tossed and turned trying to search my soul for something nice to say. one story ends with it being just a dream. JUST A DREAM! i know. the other ends with a woman kissing a man and saying “goodbye my love” as she gets into a car with another man.
i don’t know what to do. because really what i want to do is shout, “are you kidding me? have you ever read a book? what’s going on here? did you really think this was clever?”
but i can’t do that, because it’s just cold, cold and mean. and i’m not like that. and i think “good use of comic sans” is not quite right either. what to do?
“Good use of comic sans” is great! Find the good & praise it.
I hate John Updike’s “A&P”–I had to read it in college, and the prof was so slimy about it. I believe I wrote a paper about it, too. [Looks] Yep, I did. In 1993. However, my computer won’t open it because the version of Word I used then isn’t supported by the converter supplied with Appleworks. Yet another reason I need to get MS Office for Mac… So I can read papers I wrote my freshman year of college and wince.
I feel your pain. I’ve had to critique some stories that were unspeakably bad. You never want to hurt anyone’s feelings because, as horrifying as something is (“and it was all a dream!”), it is someone’s creation.
General rules, when something is just dreadful: find 2 or 3 good things and mention them first. “I really liked the title. It made me wonder what would happen, and it got me hooked on the story!” “Isabella is such a realistic character. This bit of dialogue here between Isabella and Charles is the heart of the story—I’d love to see it expanded.”
Then mention some things you didn’t like, but in a nice way. “The story has so much potential, but when I found at the end that it was just a dream, I felt cheated, like I’d used up all my energy caring about something that didn’t matter. I was reading in a writer’s magazine that it’s kind of weak to end stories with a dream, because the reader feels cheated.” And, “Isabella is so intriguing, and she seems so strong throughout most of the story, but then she goes and makes that sudden decision—it seems so out of character. Do you think you could give us more of a reason why she’d make such a rash decision? I’m really confused about that.”
I’m sure you can finesse your way around the really bad stories. One of my professors said that a lot of people write, but not everyone can be a Writer with a capital W. The people in your workshop will know right away which students are the capital W’s. Some of the non-Writers will be discouraged and quit writing once they see that they’re not as good as most of the class; others will get better as a result of kind-hearted but focused critiques. Like ugly babies, bad stories deserve a little kindness when they’re sent out into the world. Also, since this is early in the class, you can set the tone for kindness rather than cutthroat critiquing.
Although “good use of comic sans” is classic!
(By the way: I read a short story on the internet once and was trying to find it again. I put in some of the key words and found, instead, your diary, which is much better than the story I read. I’ve been reading for a while but just lurking. I have no idea why I came out of lurkerland just now.)
janne, it’s like you read my mind, or the paper that i had written on. i said stuff about it being a great concept and what not. how i wanted to know about some more stuff and i wrote, that i felt like i was cheated when it was all a dream.
did you break in while i was at target?
My former English prof knows Updike, and has some fun stories about him, trips to the airport, and whiskey. Lots of whiskey.
Everyone I know is in grad school and most are somewhere in the dissertation process. Just heard a story of a professor returning a first draft of a chapter 1 with the comment “This is about the right length for a chapter.”