why does what i’m saying hurt you?

note to self: reading the former-outlaw’s site is not going to help your aching heart. in fact, it’s just going to make your eyes well up with tears and get frustrated and hurt all over again.

damnit! how can he not like me anymore? i just don’t understand. i’m a good person, i’m mildly attractive, i’m funny, smart, i can support myself, i’m creative, i read books, i can cook, i could clean if i wanted to, i like to have sex, i have great breasts. what’s not to like?

someone explain this to me please. because it’s driving me absolutely batty.

must exert more self control.

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13 Comments

  1. UH 07.May.03 at 3:49 pm

    Note to jodi:

    Sometimes, an asshole is just an asshole.

  2. Wes 07.May.03 at 4:28 pm

    I struggle with the same question. I’m handy, not altogether ugly, I don’t make a big deal out of sex, plus other stuff I have a hard time remembering.

  3. jodi 07.May.03 at 4:47 pm

    see, the asshole is just an asshole doesn’t work.

    because 1. if he was an asshole don’t you think i would have figured it out before then?
    2. if he was an asshole how did he hide it for so long.

    and really this is the part where you explain to me what makes men tick and how i can avoid getting my heart broken again. and how i can land me a man and what makes men tick and how i an be more attractive and all that.

  4. heather 07.May.03 at 5:20 pm

    boys are yucky. throw rocks at them.
    all men are boys underneath.
    self-control is for the weak.

    this ends today’s hessieisms.

  5. Jake of 8bitjoystick.com 07.May.03 at 5:54 pm

    Well for me it is the whole living in MN thing. If you were a washington girl I would be all over you in an instant. 😉

  6. jodi 07.May.03 at 5:56 pm

    move to minnesota!

  7. UH 07.May.03 at 6:46 pm

    “if he was an asshole how did he hide it for so long”

    That’s what we do. We’re very good at it.

    Most of us, anyway.

    “this is the part where you explain to me what makes men tick and how i can avoid getting my heart broken again”

    No, I’m afraid I can’t. Getting the heart broken is always a possibility. The good news is that hearts are a renewable resource.

  8. jodi 07.May.03 at 8:51 pm

    That’s what we do. We’re very good at it.
    why do you do that?

  9. Thomas 08.May.03 at 10:28 am

    Assholes hide their asshole-ness because they can.

    Assholes delight in leading someone on, holding out that dangling bauble of safety, security and a lifetime together.

    Assholes hurt people because it’s what they do to make themselves feel better. Then they get defensive when they’re accused of hurting people.

    Assholes stink, and they’re full of shit.

  10. jodi 08.May.03 at 10:31 am

    but he’s not an asshole. that’s the problem. i just don’t understand how something can be going so swell and then not. that’s the problem. i need to understand. plus i want to be missed and i want him to be hurt that it didn’t work out. and i want so much and maybe that’s the problem. i want more than i deserve.

  11. Thomas 08.May.03 at 11:48 am

    If he’s not hurt then he never put any emotion into it in the first place.

    Because he never put emotion into, he won’t miss you.

    Because he won’t miss you he hurts you.

    Anyone that hurts you is an asshole in MY book.

    And you deserve far, far more than to be missed; you DESERVE to be cherished and loved and not to be treated badly.

  12. jodi 08.May.03 at 1:48 pm

    but that still doesn’t explain anything. WHY did his feelings change so suddenly and drastically? WHY would he be so nice to me for so long if he didn’t feel anything? just saying he’s an asshole is easy, but that’s not it we all know that.

  13. Anonymous 08.May.03 at 3:45 pm

    maybe they didn’t change so drastically, maybe it was slower but he didn’t want to admit it because of the promises he’d made. you wouldn’t have liked an asshole, so he probably isn’t one. usually what seems to hold us back from relationships is fear, it’s not you dear, so stop trying to change yourself to fit what you think he might be expecting, it just is. it’s not him, it’s not you, the combo just wasn’t right for him at this time. look how Jen on Dawson shied away from her guy when her granma got cancer, it wasn’t his fault, it was the situation.