i had a bad dream. two nights i’ve been able to semi-sleep and two nights i’ve had wretched, wretched dreams. tuesday night i dreamt deanna, sister #4’s friend, died.

last night, or really a few minutes ago, i dreamt gross guy broke into my apartment and tried to rape me. in the dream i saw him pounding on the front door of the apartment building trying to get in. so i quick turned off the one light i had on and made sure the door was locked. i was just about to slide the stick behind the patio door, ensuring nobody could get in when he started pounding on the patio door.

that’s when i decided it would be a good idea to grab the telephone and hide in the closet. i grabbed the phone and was heading down the hall towards by bedroom when gross guy grabbed me.

he was screaming and crying, why did you dump me like that, why did you just leave me like that, he kept saying over and over. i told him i was seeing someone else and that i wasn’t a cheater.

gross guy started pushing me down the hall back towards the living room. at one point i fell backwards and crashed into my cd rack. gross guy stood over me, straddling me and he kept grabbing at my breasts. i was crying and trying to scream help. but i couldn’t get the words out.

somehow, in dream logic we ended up closer to the wide open patio door. there were lots of people outside and there was a bright orange truck in the parking lot with the word SECURITY painted on the side. gross guy was still grabbing at me and crying about me leaving him. i couldn’t scream at all. he might have been choking me.

by some stroke of luck i managed to catch the eye of the passenger in that SECURITY truck. i watched as he unbuckled his seat belt and opened the door. that’s when i found my voice nad started screaming for HELP! HELP! just as the SECURITY passenger stepped over the patio door and into the apartment, i woke up.