(Life is not a highway.)

However, 169 is a highway that runs by my house. For all you stalkers, I live a few blocks south of 169. You should note that I refuse to open the door to anyone I didn’t invite over, so stalking me is super pointless.

I have driven north on 169 about 83,259 times since I moved to Supergenius HQ in 2005. This means that I have driven past Cameron’s Coffee roasting plant about 83,148 times. Can you guess how many times I’ve thought for a moment that either

1.) I was having a stroke
2.) Ruby was on fire

If you guessed 83,148 times, you win a year’s supply of Turtlewax and a smug sense of being smarter than everyone else.

That’s right, every time I drive by the coffee place I assume something catastrophic is happening. Every. Time. I want blame the fact that the smell floats about a mile away from the coffee place, so it’s not technically in sight when you start to think you’re having a stroke.

Also, there might be something wrong with my brain.

Speaking of something wrong with me. My voice is so gone that I cannot even get Alexa to turn on the lights for me.