Hello Darling Ones,

How are you?

I’m good. Today I had a mass removed from my cervix. After the doctor plucked the offending mass from my body and pulled it out she asked me, “Do you want to see it?”
“Kinda, yeah,” I said.
“A lot of people are curious,” she said.

It was not at all cute or funny like the word “polyp.” Instead, it was super gross and I’ll be trying to erase what it looked like from my mind. Aren’t you glad I shared all that with you?

YOU SHOULD BE! I am.

Anyway, I’ll find out on Friday or Monday if it’s cancerous. Then two to three weeks after that I’ll find out if my uterus is harboring any other nasties. This news will come right before my colonoscopy.

As I told my sisters, nobody has ever had more fun than I am having.

The fun is never ending. Next week I have my eye treatment on Monday, lymphedema therapy on Tuesday, and PT/OT on Wednesday. I have three pages of printed appointments sitting on my coffee table. I made them stop printing them out after every small change because I didn’t want to waste so much paper.

I’m booked until October and as daunting as it is, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

When I tell friends, family, and GoFundMe donors that I’m working as hard as I can to get better, this is what I mean. I have to constantly remind myself that I can do hard things.

The hard things are legion. Remember how I thought asking strangers on the internet to help me financially was the hardest thing I’d do? I’ve had to do about 74 other things that were just as hard. In fact, Sunday I had to let Sister #4 take care of my feet, including clipping my toe nails, because my eyes are so bad I cannot see my own toes clearly.

And yet. And yet. And yet. I’m lucky. I have someone who loves me enough to clip my toenails. I have access to medical care. The stroke did not kill me.

Just typing the words, “the stroke did not kill me” fills me with so much gratitude I have to take off my glasses so I can cry without splashing the lenses with tears.

The stroke did not kill me. I can do hard things. I’ve sent out so many thank you cards I’m almost out of stamps and the free address labels nonprofits sent me. I’m getting a new kitten in October. I get to see Sister #4’s new house in September, which will be my first non-medical-related outing since the stroke in March.

The stroke did not kill me and nobody has ever had more fun than I am having.

Uncharacteristically optimistically yours,
Jodi