Hi Darling Ones,
I almost started this letter with a giant lie. It was how I hate mottos, self-help aphorisms, maxims, and the like. But then I remembered I had three and soon-to-be four mottos that I generally live by.
1. You can go ahead and shut the fuck up.
This is something I say to myself about 8365 times a day. I frequently want to be the kind of asshole who is shitty about things a lot of people like that I do not. Or I just want to be a dick for fun. Do you know how hard it is to resist making fun of all the dudes whose entire personality is arguing about how “Die Hard” is a Christmas movie? DO YOU? Along with impatience and dying on all the hills, this is one of my worst traits.
2. People are not required to use social media/conduct their lives the way you want them to.
BUT THEY FUCKING SHOULD. Kidding. But only a little.
3. To be nobody-but-yourself — in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.
This is legit the guiding light of my life. I found this ee cummings quote in like 1991, during a very bad time in my life. It has been scrawled inside the cover of every journal/planner I’ve had since then. In fact, I still have the small piece of paper I first wrote it on. That’s a thirty-year-old piece of paper that probably about to crumble into dust, like me, because we are old.
4. No zero days.
This is a concept my friend EM shared with me a few months ago. She couldn’t remember where she first heard it, so I googled it. I guess it was a big thing on Reddit a bunch of years ago. Now it’s an app and a book and the exact kind of #girlboss kind of self-help life coaching guru bullshit aphorism I despise. And yet, I like the idea.
For me, no zero days means I will put effort into making something that didn’t exist in the world before. Some days that is soup. Some days it’s one granny square on a blanket I’m making. Some days it’s a sentence on this website. If I’m really feeling rule-bendy I’ll let something I create for a client count, but I try not to because I don’t want commerce to get all over my creative pursuits. That is, of course, until I’m ready to sell The Beast and then I want commerce to get all up in this hizzy.
Do we still say hizzy?