A few things I need to get off my chest: Not a rant

  1. I spend all my time lately thinking about The Family Fang, wishing I was reading The Family Fang, or reading The Family Fang. In the spare minutes I don’t spend in Fangland, I’m thinking about Ready Player One. It’s fall and the good books have arrived.
  2. So I bought a new shirt. It’s a shirt made specifically for tall men. I buy most of my clothes specifically for tall men because in the world of clothing tall women range from 5’6″ to 5’10”. I know. This shirt is the longest shirt I think I have ever owned in my entire life. I’m 6’5″ and most of it is torso. I got wiener legs, a torso as long as the Great Plains, and Go-Go Gadget arms. This shirt is so long that, if I had the thighs for it, I could go sans-pants and not worry about revealing anything I wouldn’t want to be revealing.
  3. Once again I was shunned by the MacArthur Genius grant people. This is about the 17th year in a row. As I usually do this time of year, I emailed Trip Shakespeare and blamed him. I pointed out that he obviously neglected to mention the fact that I learned to make cheesecake in his nomination forms.
  4. I was gonna talk a lot about my hair and how it’s becoming increasingly gray and that I’m almost forty. FORTY! But I’ve run out of attention span because I’m exhausted. I couldn’t sleep last night and when I did I was plagued by anxiety dreams about oversleeping and being late.
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  1. phantomxii 20.Sep.11 at 9:31 pm

    Love the long torso on tall shirts. For short-sleeved shirts, I swear by tall.

    But apparently someone in the clothing industry thinks I have short arms, because the sleeves on tall long-sleeved shirts practically hang down to my kneecaps. So, I have tall short-sleeved shirts that fit great, and various long-sleeved shirts that don’t quite fit in one way or another.

    1. Jodi 20.Sep.11 at 9:33 pm

      @phantomxii, See, my arms are freakishly long. Even in this shirt, the sleeves, though long, only cover my palms. Go-go-Gadget Arms. For real.

  2. Laura 20.Sep.11 at 9:40 pm

    40 is actually pretty nice. I’m feeling a bit sick about the approach of 50 (though I’m only 46, 50 is like a dead weight I can’t get out of my head).

    Grey hair can be salvaged. I waited until I realized pulling out the grey strands was making me look like a lunatic. I was actually using the mirror in the car one day, while parked on the street. People were looking at me. It wasn’t a good thing.

    So I started colouring my hair. You could skip the steps of DIY colouring and go right to getting it done at the salon. I didn’t. But, I’m stubborn that way. I had it done at the salon about two weeks ago for the first time. It is different than the DIY jobs I have done myself. I always seemed to miss some area, even when I was careful and watched myself do it in the bathroom mirror. Also, with long hair I think it requires two boxes of colouring to really cover all that hair. I was too cheap to buy two.

    The salon is expensive but I got it done this time because I have two family weddings to attend. One was this month and the other October. My brother and sister are getting married, not to each other. There is something to make you feel old! I’m the oldest sibling but now I will be the only unmarried one. (I’m divorced, so not a complete old maid).

    Anyway, 40 is not so bad. You might even like it! I was kind of fond of being 42, the answer to life, the universe and everything. For that one year you too can be the It Girl of the Universe.

  3. Kelly Barnhill 21.Sep.11 at 6:50 am

    My husband has long arms as well – there are not shirts made on this earth that fit his arms properly. We could go to a tailor, I suppose, but then we would be the sort of people who go to tailors.

    And I never would have guessed that you’re almost forty? Why do I always assume that people are younger than me? (perhaps because every year there are more people who are)

    1. Jodi 21.Sep.11 at 8:16 am

      @Kelly Barnhill, I always like to tell everyone I’m immature for my age. And I’ll actually be 40 in June. However, it’s only recently occurred to me that I’M GOING TO FORTY IN JUNE. Crazy.

  4. Barb Durham 21.Sep.11 at 7:48 am

    I’m reading Family Fang now, and loving it. I swear I know those people. I can’t figure out from your blog if you’ve reviewed it or not, the link just goes to Amazon.

    1. Jodi 21.Sep.11 at 8:17 am

      @Barb Durham, No review yet. I’m still reading it. I’m trying to take my time lest I zoom through it and am left in a hopeless depression when I’m done and there’s no more to read.

  5. M-----l 21.Sep.11 at 10:08 am

    What are wiener legs?

    1. Jodi 21.Sep.11 at 10:20 am

      @M—–l, Short, squat and kinda hot-doggy looking legs.

      1. M-----l 21.Sep.11 at 10:22 am

        @Jodi, Ahh, I have toothpick legs and have never even once in my life been able to find a pair of pants that fit.

        1. Jodi 21.Sep.11 at 10:27 am

          @M—–l, I have calves like tree trunks so all my pants look like Jodhpurs. Also, I never found a pair of pants that fit and reached my ankles until I was like 25.

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