Today, I Will Dare is 10 years old today! Permit a bit of self-indulgence as I share with you 10 of my favorite posts, one from each year.
October 20, 2000
The Great Clyde Break-In: I turn on the light, roll out of bed and have the common sense to put on a bra (yes, I thought to put on a bra). I throw on some shorts and a sweatshirt, grab my glasses, run my fingers through my hair, and nab my keys on the way out the door. The whole time I was thinking, “If this is some sort of pre-wedding practical joke, there will be bloodshed.”
October 16, 2001
That Penny Family: Of course, the joy of Halloween was always tempered by the fact that we always had to pool our booty. Yeah, my parents were a couple of commies. There was no keeping your hard-earned loot. We’d get home, dump out our pillowcases and pick a few favorites. The rest of our take was then pooled into a giant, yellow-orange Tupperware bowl to be shared with the rest of the family.
March 17, 2002
And all the people merely players: They sat on either side of me with a small plate of potato chips and a cup filled with 7-Up. That’s when the play started.
Max kept handing me his cup and then saying, “Say thank you, Gopher.” I’d take the cup and say, “Thank you, Gopher.”
Then Jaycie would say, “Don’t you feed THAT BEAR!”
Then they’d both burst into laughter and we’d have to start all over again.
July 14, 2003
Don’t Overshoot Your Headlights: I was convinced that my headlights were defective and I was going to die. Then for some reason, the words of wisdom came back, “don’t overshoot your headlights.” I discovered that I could see just fine, if I focused on the area the headlights illuminated. Finally I knew what in the hell that meant. I was overshooting my headlights and trying to see all that stuff just beyond the reach of the lights.
August 6, 2004
The Curious Incident of the Popcorn in the Night: While we were chatting, I noticed a garbage bag-sized bag of popcorn on the ground near Ruby. I took note of the oddness, and continued chitting and chatting with Damon. But the time to end the night had come, and as I approached Ruby Vodo came from behind the building that’s next to the Open Book. He was parked on the other side of my truck.
I took a step toward the door, and that’s when I saw it.
June 11, 2005
Something in the popcorn: Of course, since we were late we had to stumble dripping and shivering from the rain, to our seats. We finally sit down as the previews are playing and Max shouts “THERE’S SOMETHING IN OUR POPCORN.”
December 25, 2006
My Christmas wish for you, Darling Ones: But I went forth and asked anyway. “I can’t go alone,” I told her. “I’m a wreck.”
And even though she was already in pajamas, she said yes. She climbed back into real pants and joined me on my journey back to 1994. Which turned out to be great gobs of fun, and a story for another time.
April 22, 2007
The Last Frame: We exited quietly lit by the glow of the pop machine, and then stood outside crying, waiting for Dad to exit. Out came Tommy Schmidt, who had worked at the bowling alley for nearly two decades with Ralph, the original owner, with an old radio and a picture of Ralph clutched under his arm. Finally, Dad.
January 23, 2008
Madison & Pinguino: An interspecies love story: In the last week or so Madison has gotten protective of Pinguino. Whenever I approach my bedroom, Madison streaks in from wherever he is in Supergenius HQ to watch what I’m doing. When it’s time to fill Pinguino with water, he watches my every move. Meowing when I take off the penguin’s head to get at the handle. Then he follows me into the bathroom and perches on the ledge of the bathtub watching me fill his lover with water.
March 15, 2009
You are not right: We all have many coming of age tales in our lives. One of mine happened on a paper-covered table in a doctor’s office in 1984. It was a few days before my 12th birthday. I had just finished 6th grade and my mom was concerned about my fantastic growth (both height and girth) that never seemed to end.
January 17, 2010
Brought to you by discover of the first season of She-Ra on Hulu: Every fall when school rolled around I would re-dedicate myself to upholding these ridiculous standards of beauty. The day before school started I marched up to Snyder Drug to arm myself with a bottle of extra-control hairspray (I preferred the Clairol non-areosol in the cool-shaped bottle because it smelled a little better. This was in the days before hair products spelled like fruit and flowers and gumdrops. Kids these days have no idea how good they have it), the latest in Maxi-to-Go eyeshadows, seven different flavors of lip smackers, and an industrial-sized vat of Noxema to remove it all after school.