I never liked M*A*S*H and I hate it now

When I was a kid, I’d often do battle with my cousin Patty over the TV. Patty would babysit during the summer while my parents were at work, and she would always watch M*A*S*H or Phil Donahue when the obvious choice for those time slots was The Flintstones. Back in the day you couldn’t change a channel (and we only had four of them) without tripping over The Flintstones (The Flintstones were to the olden days as Saved by the Bell (or Scrubs or The Fresh Prince or Everybody loves Raymond) is to today).

Patty was under some misguided notion that children should go outside and play, get fresh air, or some other kind of insanity. She seemed to overlook that I wasn’t a go outside and play kind of kid. No, I was the kid who spent a lot of time memorizing the TV Guide and who could tell you, without referring back to the periodical if The Love Boat was going to be a rerun that week.

Her favorite North Star was Gordie Roberts too, which is all kinds of wrong. Obviously Neal Broten, Willi Plett, and Dino Ciccarelli were the only North Stars eligible for favorite status.

So yeah, not a M*A*S*H fan. Nothing makes me leap for the remote like hearing the opening lines of the theme.

Imagine my shock and horror today when I discovered Quantum Leap’s 3 p.m. time slot on ION television had been usurped by that melodramatic dreck from the 70s. Boo. Hiss.

The world does not need more comedies about war, especially in rerun. No what the world needs is more Sam Beckett leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong, and hoping each time his next leap will be his leap home.

Fucking M*A*SH is totally ruining my unemployment summer buzz.

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6 Comments

  1. Barrett 01.Jul.09 at 9:32 pm

    I’ve recently wondered if my lifelong hatred of M*A*S*H is valid. I think it probably is, and I don’t really have the ambition to watch a few and find out.

    To me, the theme song always meant that it was time to go to bed on Sunday night, so I could get up for school the next morning. There’s no more depressing death knell for your weekend than the theme to M*A*S*H.

    Reply
  2. Jodi 01.Jul.09 at 9:35 pm

    It’s a sit-com about the Korean War? How good could it really be? Probably as good as Hogan’s Heroes, a sit-com about Nazi’s and prisoners of war. . . real laugh riots.

    Reply
  3. NBFB 07.Jul.09 at 11:47 am

    Had to throw my hat in for Plett. Big goon and one of the last helmetless players ever.

    Reply
  4. FS 08.Jul.09 at 9:17 pm

    Of course, to win a Stanley Cup, Gordie Roberts had to come to Pittsburgh.

    Reply
  5. Jodi 08.Jul.09 at 9:21 pm

    Oh shut it. Gordie Roberts wasn’t even in the top 10 best North Stars.

    Reply
  6. Stelth 10.Jul.09 at 10:55 pm

    I’ve always hated mash (it’s not worthy of capital letters or asterisks) If I had a time machine I’d go back to the set of mash and punch out sanctimonious alan alda and his wimpy pal b.j.(BJ, that tells ya something, doesn’t it.)

    Reply

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