Sometimes I envy the freeness with which my four-year-old nephew Liam expresses his displeasure. When he’s cranky he’s sure to let the world know it. He makes frownie faces and declares that he dislikes this, that, and that too. Wednesday a very cranky kid claimed to dislike: Michael Jackson, opened windows, Legos, Me, rock and roll, sitting on my lap, not sitting on my lap, the cats, zombies, and being called cranky.

Today I am cranky. I blame the nap. I didn’t feel all that cranky before the nap, just tired because I was out late betting my unemployment check on the ponies. After the nap? Cranktastic. Or as I call the Tibbles when they get like this, Crankenstien.

Ain’t nothing that I now of that can fix the crankies, so you just have to give in to it. So, I present, a list of things I do not like at all today:

1. My sunburned left elbow. Who the hell thinks to put sunscreen on their left elbow?
2. Sisters #2 & #3 and their inability to see that the very fact that they both weep about their broken relationship while proclaiming, “I’m done with her I don’t care anymore. I’m done.” means they do care and they are not done. This one is really bugging me the most.
3. The fact that I know I cannot fix the sisters’ relationship and yet I still want to fix it.
4. I forgot to eat dinner and now I’m kind of hungry and it’s after 9 p.m.
5. The number five.
6. That my sisters are both social workers who help people deal with their emotional problems and what not and yet. . .
7. This self-indulgent list and that didn’t make me feel any better.
8. Sarah Palin.
9. My messy house.
10. This damn day.