Stuck inside a Paul Westerberg song or I am the Friday night frozen pizza queen

I often make jokes that the female equivalent to Paul Westerberg’s “Man Without Ties” is “Woman without Bras.” Sure it doesn’t have that nice double meaning, but well, it’s not my fault that bra doesn’t have another meaning.

Anyway this afternoon as I was pulling my frozen-pizza lunch from the oven, I started laughing at myself because it’s Friday and I’m eating frozen pizza. Ha. Ha. Ha. But then as I was putting my slices on the plate I realized that I would be having leftover frozen pizza for dinner. Ha, I thought, I am the frozen pizza queen.

I made my way to the La-Z-Grrl still singing the song, sat down, and picked up The Monsters of Templeton, today’s Amazon delivery. With a microwave and library card. . . okay, I thought this is just not funny anymore. There are other lyrics to the song about the neighbors thinking that he’s gay and that he’s retired because he doesn’t ever leave the house.


So what did I do? I put the book down, and turned on Martha Stewart. There is some art I don’t want my life to imitate. You know?

P.S. Have you voted in the ‘Mats Madness yet? It’s totally a nail-biter. I’ve threatened to commit hari kari if The Open Season soundtrack beats out Sorry Ma Forgot to Take Out the Trash.

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  1. Wolfdogg 11.Apr.08 at 6:05 pm

    I could write you a new verse about watching Martha Stewart and MTV reality shows….

    I bet Monsters Of Templeton is good. I was gonna pick that one, but then I believe you talked me into Things I’ve Learned blah blah blah.

  2. david 12.Apr.08 at 7:45 am

    I hope you’re enjoying Monsters, it was my book of the year until I read Rudolph Wurlitzer’s new novel, The Drop Edge of Yonder.

  3. Jodi 12.Apr.08 at 6:56 pm

    David, You’re the reason I picked up Monsters — you gotta stop with all the suggestions though, I’m unemployed!

    And don’t listen to Wolfdogg I had nothing to do with the tripe that is Things I Learned When I was Dating Women Who Were Too Good for me Instead of Going to English Class to learn the Difference between Losing and Loosing.


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