I often make jokes that the female equivalent to Paul Westerberg’s “Man Without Ties” is “Woman without Bras.” Sure it doesn’t have that nice double meaning, but well, it’s not my fault that bra doesn’t have another meaning.
Anyway this afternoon as I was pulling my frozen-pizza lunch from the oven, I started laughing at myself because it’s Friday and I’m eating frozen pizza. Ha. Ha. Ha. But then as I was putting my slices on the plate I realized that I would be having leftover frozen pizza for dinner. Ha, I thought, I am the frozen pizza queen.
I made my way to the La-Z-Grrl still singing the song, sat down, and picked up The Monsters of Templeton, today’s Amazon delivery. With a microwave and library card. . . okay, I thought this is just not funny anymore. There are other lyrics to the song about the neighbors thinking that he’s gay and that he’s retired because he doesn’t ever leave the house.
So what did I do? I put the book down, and turned on Martha Stewart. There is some art I don’t want my life to imitate. You know?