If you go to a liquor store in Shakopee, MN at 9 a.m. and buy a six-pack of beer they will look at you a little askance. When you try to explain how you need it to pay off a debt you have with your co-worker Dougs*, they will flatten their mouths into a thin judgmental line and give a barely imperceptible shake of their head.
If you sing along to Polyester Bride with the windows down on your way to Hell, Inc. for the last time on a Monday morning it will make you feel better. Following that up with a Hall & Oate singalong will make you feel even better than before.
You cannot, apparently, sing “and shook a little turd out of the bottom of your pants” on 89.3 The Current.
*the bet was made back before Thanksgiving. It was in regards to whether or not I would still be employed on Valentine’s Day. When the layoffs came everyone was stunned by my psychic ability. Dougs won on a technicality, so we called it a draw and both brought each other beer.
Somehow I pictured Shakopee as being more beer-tolerant than that.
Maybe I’m getting them mixed up with Sheboygan.
Maybe I just patronize the snooty liquor store. It’s like you can’t buy a six-pack of Lake Superior Ale at 9 a.m. on a Monday morning without people getting all uppity. Sheesh.
last day? i thought you had until march 3rd or some such?
No, the last Monday. My last day coming in here will be Friday and the last actual day of my employment is March 3rd.
Got it?
ahhh, that must be the HR-sponsored, company-certified dismissal schedule. gotcha.
Is there anything else you need to know? Do you want me to send you a copy of my termination letter?
Try waiting outside before they open, buying a half gallon of vodka, and taking a few swigs in the car before you leave the parking lot. When you’re at that point, you don’t care how they look at you.
well, since you asked and all … i wouldn’t like a copy of your termination letter, but how about another story or two of yours to read. i thoroughly enjoyed the last one and would like to read some more.
I was wondering too if I was the only person at least a bit perturbed by the hack-job the Current did in editing what is otherwise a great song by The Moldy Peaches.
Nope, I caught it too. It even sounds weird, because they repeat that do a little dance line twice in a row.