If you go to a liquor store in Shakopee, MN at 9 a.m. and buy a six-pack of beer they will look at you a little askance. When you try to explain how you need it to pay off a debt you have with your co-worker Dougs*, they will flatten their mouths into a thin judgmental line and give a barely imperceptible shake of their head.
If you sing along to Polyester Bride with the windows down on your way to Hell, Inc. for the last time on a Monday morning it will make you feel better. Following that up with a Hall & Oate singalong will make you feel even better than before.
You cannot, apparently, sing “and shook a little turd out of the bottom of your pants” on 89.3 The Current.
*the bet was made back before Thanksgiving. It was in regards to whether or not I would still be employed on Valentine’s Day. When the layoffs came everyone was stunned by my psychic ability. Dougs won on a technicality, so we called it a draw and both brought each other beer.