On the third day of Christmas vaction my true love gave to me — a slippery, shiny ice storm

Bedtime: 1:50 a.m.
Waketime: 7:28 a.m.
Goals for the day: Move the mattress up into the still empty master bedroom, grocery shop, stay awake.

Instead of braving the shiny, ice-coated streets to go wrap gifts at the Barnes & Noble with FFJ, I Tibble-sat and spent the morning arguing with Cade, Nolan, and Liam about who was the best: robots, Ninjas, Superman, or Batman. Let me tell you, none of those boys’ heads is screwed on right. The argument went a little like this:
“Why do you like Batman so much?” I asked Nolan, who is almost 4.
“I don’t know,” he said. “He’s just cool.”
“Cooler than Superman?”
“What makes him so cool?” I asked.
“He flies around and he has wings.”
“He can’t fly without an airplane. Only Superman can fly.”
“So? Batman’s still cooler,” Nolan said.
“I like Ninjas, then Superman, then Batman,” Cade interjected.
“ROBOTS!” Liam shouted.
“So what’s so great about Batman?” I asked Nolan again, convinced I could win him over to the right side.
“He goes around and gets all the bad guys and the monsters so they can’t get us,” he said. “And he’s cool.”
“Superman is cool,” I said.
“Not as cool as Batman.”

We also had a dance party, played Spiderman (I had to show them how to bend their wrists appropriately to get the webs out), played monster trucks, and vegged out to Goof Troop. I think I babysat for two hours.

Then I braved the holiday crowds and went grocery shopping. The only reason everyone got out of the Super T alive today is that I was too damn tired to kill them all. Tis the season to be annoying as hell. I am convinced.

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  1. christa 22.Dec.07 at 10:14 pm

    ’tis the season to be annoying as hell is right. i have only seen one person today who i did not want to punch in the face, and that is only because i have the least annoying boyfriend on earth.

  2. Jodi 22.Dec.07 at 10:21 pm

    Amen! I even confessed to Sister #3 as we were pulling out of the parking lot that for a minute there I thought about punching her in the throat because I was so annoyed and I knew she wouldn’t press charges.

  3. bakiwop 23.Dec.07 at 4:40 am

    see, what you have to do is go holiday shopping at an all boys seminary boarding school like my sister and i did – but the key is to wait until they’ve let out for the semester so then you can roam the gift shop without being bothered by those pesky seminarians.

  4. Placemat 23.Dec.07 at 10:02 am

    I afraid it’s true…Batman is way cooler than Superman. Even Wonder Woman would agree.

    Superman is just a big, blue, boy scout with powers up the ass.

    Batman, on the other hand, is just a regular Joe, yet he still puts life & limb on the line to keep the streets safe for you & me.

    Superman = Top 40. Batman = Punk Rock

  5. Jodi 23.Dec.07 at 11:19 am

    What does one buy at a all boys seminary school gift shop? Inquiring minds must know.

    Also, Placemat, you’re so wrong. SO WRONG. It’s actually hard to comprehend exactly how wrong you are. Batman is a Republican with a nice belt. Please. Instead of using his wealth to fight “crime” in a pathetic attempt to deal with his parents’ death he should invest in the education system of Gotham City and programs for helping the poor.

  6. Placemat 23.Dec.07 at 1:41 pm

    That’s a great idea Jodi, but I think you’ll find (as usual) Batman is one step ahead of you…

    The Wayne Foundation donates a considerable sum of money to Gotham’s needy. The Foundation funds and runs dozens of free clinics all over the city & in other trouble areas like the Blüdhaven.

    Also, the Bat pretty much invented the side-kick. I’d call Robin a rather significant investment in the education system.

    You’ve also failed to note that Batman has a sweet ride, & an English butler to make sandwiches.

    But hey, don’t take my word for it, just ask the kiddos. They know what’s up.

  7. Jodi 23.Dec.07 at 1:45 pm

    Superman was born super, so there!

  8. bakiwop 23.Dec.07 at 6:31 pm

    one buys one’s father mementos from his alma mater – he did the catholic priest thing but lucky for me it didn’t stick.


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