My story “Rocket Science” is being workshopped tonight. This ass I am sitting on right now, it will be handed to me. I deserve it. The story is not good. I think it might be good for about seven pages or so, but then it just becomes a train wreck filled with half-ideas and no ending at all. Also, it doesn’t help that halfway through the rewrite I decided it was in the wrong tense and switched it to present tense. Oh it’s bad. I’m embarrassed by it. I can’t remember the last time I handed in something that actually embarrassed me.
After spending the last week thinking about where I went so horribly wrong, I figured it out. I went wrong because I tried to write the story that Vodo thought I should write and not the story that it is. Does that make sense? See, when the first draft of the story workshopped Vodo made a rather good suggestion for the story. I loved the suggestion, it would make for a good story. However, I am not sure if it is my story.
I’m kind of mad at myself for making such a rookie error. I should have stayed true to my story and made that work, instead of trying to make it into something I don’t think it is.
Damn. Tonight is not going to be pretty. You might have to be really nice to me tomorrow lest I jump off a bridge.
Okay, A) You’re being too hard on yourself. B) I totally understand what you mean by writing someone else’s story–it’s really hard to avoid the temptation. BUT, you needed to write the story Vodo suggested. It helped you find what your real story is. Remember it’s all the process. The painful, gut-wrenching, ass-handing process.
Have you read it yet? It’s is B-A-D. Badbadbaadd bad bad bad. You know it.
I read it. I’ve read worse. No, it’s not your finest, but it’s clearly a work in progress. Nothing to be embarassed about–esp. not compared to certain other stories we’ve been exposed to.
Peabo is right – nobody ever gets to be really good at something if they’re too fearful of crashing and burning along the way. Try to focus on the fact that you learned something valuable from this exercise and look to the future, not the past…