Okay, let me get this out of the way first. I am afraid of heights. Go ahead, laugh. Everyone seems to find this eensy bit of irony the utmost in hilarity. Yes, yes the 6’5″ woman is afraid of heights. Hardee-har-har. I’ve been over this before.
The height thing was a topic of conversation at Hell, Inc today. Why? Because my super rad Simple Clean Indoor Extension Cleaning System arrived at work today from Amazon.com in a box roughly the size of a refrigerator.
Most of my office mates were intrigued by the big huge box. They waited with bated breath as I pried open my package and extracted the Simple Clean Indoor Extension Cleaning System, which filled roughly 1/3 of the giant box Amazon shipped it in.
“That’s it?” They asked.
“I thought it was a bookcase,” H said.
“I didn’t know what it was,” Al, the cutest girl on earth™, said. “But I would have never guessed that.”
“Haven’t you ever heard of a ladder?” Steve asked.
I then had to explain to them all about the fear of heights (again, because they’ve heard this story before) and how I’ve recently become obsessed with watching the dirty, dirty ceiling fan perched on the 20-foot ceiling of Supergenius HQ spin round and round and round.
For reasons I cannot explain, they found this very logical solution to my problem absolutely hilarious. All day I fielded calls from my oh-so-funny coworkers asking me to dust the ceiling, or change the lightbulbs in the street lights (it comes with a light bulb changer).
“Wait, wait, wait,” Jayto said, coming out of her office after hearing me tell Al that she was lucky I didn’t smack her with it because I could reach her. “They’re making fun of you for all the wrong reasons. They should be making fun of you for buying your cleaning supplies from Amazon.”
I know for a fact all those bitches would be totally jealous if they could see how clean my ceiling fan was right now. I love you Simple Clean Indoor Extension Cleaning System, you are worth all the ridicule.