Things I discovered today while I was supposed to be doing other things

  • It’s hard to concentrate on writing propaganda when you can’t seem to stop listening to the FABULOUS Jeff Tweedy bootleg you got this weekend
  • If I am reading a book that is so horribly stupid and poorly written I will stop 50 pages in and feel great relief when I dump the book off on some other sucker
  • This Jeff Tweedy bootleg is really fucking good
  • Lately I feel a bit like the bad side-effects from Viagra
  • I have horrible posture when I am writing
  • That no matter what, whenever you see the HR person’s name come up on the caller ID your stomach will fall
  • I am not sure if I really get this whole The White Stripes thing
  • After today’s lunchclub taste test of chocolate chip cookies I can say with all confidence that Toll House beat the pants off of the generic brand
  • We’ve been playing hangman on the whiteboard outside The Dougs’ cube since 12/01/05

You know how in the Viagra commercials they say if you experience erections that last for more than four hours you should get medical attention? Well my nipples have been painfully erect for two days. If I could I would take them off, place them in a cotton-lined box, and carry them in my pocket until next week when my hormones get back to normal.

Either that or I am going to rub them with sugar, because I read (or saw on TV, or completely made up) that if you rub sugar on a dog’s erect penis it will deflate.

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4 Comments

  1. UH 25.Jun.07 at 7:39 pm

    *woof*

    Reply
  2. shokkou 25.Jun.07 at 7:52 pm

    Get that on film. It’ll make you rich.

    Reply
  3. Jodi 25.Jun.07 at 8:11 pm

    Don’t you realize that I am in pain?!

    Reply
  4. AC 26.Jun.07 at 8:45 pm

    Bandaids, honey, bandaids.

    And maybe a little vaseline to make it all better.

    AC

    Reply

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