So I’m at some high school hockey game, and it’s half time (yes, I know there is no half-time in hockey, but in this dream there was). North Dakota’s best marching band comes out on the ice, with trumpets and ice skates before the ‘main half-time attraction.’ Over the intercom someone starts calling my name.

I go to investigate, and it’s Prince. You know, Prince of Little Red Corvette/Purple Rain fame. He’s sitting behind a purple grand piano and he holds out his hand to shake mine and says, “You can call me Orlando.”

I’m all ‘Yo, what up Orlando?’

Prince goes on to tell me that not only are we going to duet at the hockey’s half-time show, but that we’ll perform the same song later that night on MTV’s Unplugged.

I was all, “Of course I’m gonna duet with you, you know with all my singing talent and what not.”

Prince and I then, immediately, start to argue about what song we should sing. I do not want to do “Arms of Orion” because I am not Sheena Easton. He thought it’d bring down the house.

I want to do “I Could Never Take the Place of Your Man,” and Prince poo-poos my idea because it’s not a duet.

Somehow we come to an agreement (Let’s Go Crazy). Since we have some time before we need to go on. Three young, hot guys come into the dressing room or wherever we are and everyone (including me) gets naked. We start to have an orgy only none of the men are so much interested in what I bring to the orgy. Eventually, I fall asleep

When I wake up, I can hear Prince on stage and I’m frantic. Afraid I missed my cue. I dash out to the set of MTV Unplugged and bump into Kelly who is tending bar.

“Did he do ‘Let’s Go Crazy’ yet?” I ask her.
“Oh yeah,” she said. “That was like the first song.”

I start to cry, and Prince sees me. He’s playing that big grand piano, and he mouths the words ‘I’m sorry’ to me. Then starts playing some slowed down acoustic version of “I Could Never Take the Place of Your Man,” just for me.