Every Friday morning I come into work and have to give my co-workers a full debriefing on my Thursday night class. They get a little disappointed because not all of my ‘mates have nicknames yet and I have to use their actual names when talking about them. They prefer nicknames.

So I was telling them how last night at Grumpys we were joined by The Hottie.

“So what’s The Hottie’s story?” Maria asked. “Besides being hot.”
“He works in publishing,” I said. “He spent some time out east, his wife is a librarian.”
“Oh,” she sighed.
“Yeah,”I said. “And he’s starting to apply for MFA programs.”
“I have a crush on The Hottie, and I don’t even know him.”

Then I went on to tell her how I dig The Hottie and all, but my true affections are all on The Graduate who is just the cutest thing that ever did live.

“He’s like the Al of our class,” I said, referring to our much-loved and totally adorable coworker Al, the cutest girl on earth™.
“Really?”
“Yes! He’s just so cute and smart and enthusiastic and he sat next to me last night and I just wanted to pet him.” I mimed petting someone’s arm. “I totally just want to take him home and keep him there.”
“You didn’t pet him, did you?”
“No.”
“Good that might scare him.”
“I figured unwanted petting in the middle of class might be a bit forward.”