I’ve spent the last hour or so, listening to and singing out loud to heartbreaking break-up songs on my favorite set of headphones and watching “Valley Girl” on mute. Incidentally, did anyone, ever really spike the punch at a school dance? (double-plus bonus points if anyone can name the Valley Girl/Paul Westerberg connection)

I am neither heartbroken or breaking-up, but someone on the Westernerd Message Board asked about favorite break up songs, so it got me in the mood.

My all-time favorite break-up song is “Someone to Pull the Trigger”, followed closely by the girl-sung version of Elvis Costello’s “God Give me Strength.” That Costello song is, I believe, the only thing that held me together after The Outlaw came through my life and decimated me. It’s hard to listen to the song without thinking of him, and more than that about how absolutely stupid I was. But I am smarter now, and the song doesn’t cause the same kind of pain it used to.

Despite the sonic heartbreak on the headphones, I feel oddly content today. Maybe it’s because I’m not worrying a new short story. I think my creative process is similar to giving birth, except without the episiotomy. There’s lost of months of not much and then incredible pain and finally this thing comes out in a rush so fast that I don’t even know what’s going on.

Plus, the workshop anxiety hasn’t quite kicked in, though it did a little bit when Vodo was ripping on one of my character names.

“Boobs LaRue?” he asked. “Is this a bowling alley story?”
“Yes,” I said.

Then he, Kelly, FFJ, and unnicknamed Brad had a grand old time ripping on Boobs.

Fuckers.

I tried to tell Vodo that since he was no longer my teacher that he couldn’t rip on my stories. But then he took that to heart and just started ripping on me. I’m used to be the one who gives the shit to him, and on occassion he’d give shit to me, but not that much beacuse he was, after all, my teacher. But now, it’s like all bets are off. I have to re-think this new friendship phase of our relationship, the waters are choppy.