I have mono. At least I have decided I have mono. I’m not quite sure where I would have contracted it. I haven’t kissed anyone in roughly 39 months. Sure work is really stressful and I haven’t slept more than 6 hours a night in like 3 weeks, but this goes beyond that. The symptoms:
• I’m tired all the time. I think I’ve been tired all the time since about Saturday.
• Not even Dawson’s Creek is holding my interest or getting rid of the grumps
• I would make more money if I got paid $1 per yawn than I do earning my annual salary
• I’m so listless I can’t read or write
• The cookies I baked tonight tasted like flavorless lumps of sawdust with cricket chips
• I can’t stop listening to She Moves in Her Own Way
• Did I mention that I’m really fucking tired all the time with the tiredness?
• I dreamt two nights in a row about a man with dark brown boing boing curls being in love with me and I think I loved him back (this has nothing to do with my mono and everything to do with my monomania)
• I haven’t practiced since Sunday. . . because I’m too tired

So there, it’s abundantly clear that I have mono. There really is no other explanation. To combat the mono I’ve decided I’m going to bed by 10:30 for the rest of week. Though I think I might got to bed at like 8:30 on Thursday since my family will make me get up at the crack of dawn to go the State Fair.