a list of things i’ve been given by men who thought they really dug me until they met me

a few weeks ago i was having an e-mail conversation with my friend jason. we were talking about music and i was telling him how i can always tell when i haven’t spent enough time listening to music, because i don’t write. at all. there’s just something hardwired in my brain to respond to music. i don’t know what it is, but it seems that random songs trigger random memories in my head and make me want to write them down.

for instance, i am listening to jeff buckley’s cover of “Hallelujah” which is probably one of my top 10 favorite songs that is not sung by paul westerberg. as soon as i hear that exhalation at the beginning my heart immediately starts to beat differently than it was beating 10 seconds before the exhalation.

so anyway, jeff buckley’s on and suddenly i start thinking of this guy i knew a long time ago whom i called mr. hannah.

mr. hannah was one of many e-lationships i had with men i had met on the internet. mr. hannah lived somewhere that was not here and after a bit of time decided he simply must meet me (this sort of thing actually happened quite a bit more than one would probably imagine).

so mr. hannah flew into MPLS to get a gander at a 6’5″ supergenius. when he got here, he had brought me Jeff Buckley’s “Live from Sin-E.” this in turn made me think about all those other men who decided that they had to fly here to get a gander at a 6’5″ supergenius and the stuff they brought me. and what follows is a list of some of the stuff i have been given from men i was in some sort of weird e-lationship with:
pop tarts
a trix bobble head
about 29,018 mix tapes/CDs
the clap (ha! just kidding, but i couldn’t resist)
a stuffed mickey mouse
a superman magnet
a secret love letters kit
a vibrator
a bunch of books that they thought i should read, that never took into consideration my actual taste (which another discussion in and of itself)
lots of flowers

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