even though i still feel as though i’ve been run over by an emotional dump truck, i’m doing my best to stay above it all. it’s my birthday week and giving in to the urge to fall right down into the muckity muck of ickiness would not be a good thing.

it’s been one of those emotional lows and highs weeks. i’ve been going through a nasty bit of rough the past couple of days. nothing too entirely traumatic when you really think about it. just something that sort of makes you need to readjust your world view about a person. it’s always hard when the person you’ve built up in your head turns out to not be worthy of the pedestal that you put him on, and rather should probably just walk the same ground you do.

in keeping with my new emotionally mature way to deal with karmic kicks to the teeth, i did something wholly unlike me, i asked for help. i called FFJ and burst into tears the moment she asked me what was up. and then, get this, i actually told her what was up. it’s a novel idea for me. then i talked to a few other friends, and it was all good.

also, to counteract all the badness i’ve been heaping upon myself (you know, the you aren’t worthy of love, you stink, you are stupid and not sexxy and not charming and not attractive at all) when i’m alone, i’m doing my damn best not to be alone with my bad self. which means there are some good times, good times to come. i get to have lunch with the NBFB next week, hang with FFJ on saturday, go see ted leo & the pharmacists next week with wolfdogg, and of course, madagascar with the kidlings tomorrow.

and the best part of all this? i’ve gotten through this latest round of melodrama without a lick of ice cream. i am so totally grown up i could barf.