today stole the life right out of me. i am exhausted, dispirited, lonely, sad and something else i can’t name.

tonight it’s so hard. i just really want someone to fight my battles, i am sick of fighting alone. i am just sick of fighting. i want something to come easily for once.

being single, i sometimes wonder if i don’t place more emphasis on my job than coupled people. i wonder if maybe the work day doesn’t haunt me a bit more because i don’t have anyone to come home and unload to. but then it could be just as bad for coupled people, i have no idea.

i just do know it would have been nice to say, “honey, i’m home.” and then have someone care. just one person to care how the day went.

i’m tired. i keep fighting and fighting and i’m amazed that everyday i have more fight in me. i thought i’d have used it all up and my resilience is amazing me. also, my resistance to bullshit has been worn down. i’m afriad drama, of the work variety, might unfold soon and i’m not sure if i have the energy to keep fighting my battle.

and i know i’m being a pouty, whiny, needy brat– but that’s not stopping me from whining. i just don’t have the energy to keep it bottled up tonight.