driving home from work, i was so engrossed in a particularly vivid sex fantasy that i totally missed my turn and ended up in a heretofore unknown part of bloomington. and the only thing that…
Date Archives June 2005
and nobody laughed but me, until i cried
“are you guys wearing the same shoes?” i asked seamus and kappa. “no,” seamus said. “i’m wearing the bonnie approved sandals. she was morally opposed to mantoes in the office.” “i think she was just…
and then i beat him about the head and neck with a big, heavy stapler
“look, your nose is red from laughing so hard,” kappa said. “it is not,” i said. “it’s red with the effort it takes to produce a vesuvian-like zit that is causing even more pain than…
tales of a 27th grade nothing
do you remember that scene in Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing where Peter Hatcher is talking about how much he loves fruity fruit punch and how if you split open his veins you’d probably…
practice makes perfect or the reign of decadence continues
believe it or not, i’m not talking about masturbation. no instead i’m talking about my absolute brand-new favorite thing to do (and i say this like i do it all the time but i don’t…
an evening of decadence in which i can’t seem to stop crying
since i had the big creative breakthrough this afternoon, i decide to cater to my every whim tonight. so far that has included a divine dinner featuring veggie burgers, baked potatoes, and asparagus, washed down…
holy shit i am spent
i just had a creative breakthrough of epic proportions here at work and now all i want to do is smoke a cigarette and then roll over and go to sleep. i am totally spent…
tuesday pros and cons
con: 8:15 in the a.m. mandatory all company meetings pro: seamus bringing in sweet delicious yummy coffee con: talking to not one but two people on the phone before 10 pro: i have a good…
the disturbing penis in my bed
so i’m sitting here breaking the cardinal rule of jodi (no computers in bed) and paco’s here with me. he was rubbing himself against me, like he always does, because he’s he neediest cat in…
KAPOW! attack of the super bitch
i just went from zero to superbitchy in like 45 seconds. i’m not kidding. it was probably the weirdest thing i’ve ever felt in my own psyche. i was just sitting here minding my own…